Let it Snow

Today it snowed in Houston. Doesn't happen very often. Just enough to stick to the cars. Karina confronted me saying, "You say, America-No snow!" I do remember saying that. She doesn't cut me any slack.

T is coming to visit soon. Karina worries about her. I wasn't sure about a visit so soon. Again, I remember sitting on the steps of the orphanage with T and promising to visit her in one year. Somehow they get you to say "I promise." Or "ah-beh-shi-yew."

Papa

Six Months Today!

It is hard to believe that today is our six month anniversary of coming home. Everything is still so fresh to us. I have realized though, by reading the blogs and reports of others that are in Ukraine going through the adoption process, that the negative things go away fairly quickly.

A Wish Upon a Star

Recently, Karina and I were outside just before dark. Karina saw a star and told me that if I made a wish it would come true. When I didn't agree whole heartedly, she said, "No Papa, it's true!" She went on to explain that she once saw a star and wished that she could have a family and now she has a family.....Take a minute to think how many children around the world have made that same wish and are waiting for that wish to come true.

We are hoping to be able to host our first little girl again. On our last visit to the orphanage, she told me she wanted to go with us. I don't think she knew what she wanted, but I promised her then that we would see her again. She is very immature and I don't think she knows what she wants. Karina is very compassionate and worries about her and wants her to be her sister so she can help her....Wow.

Papa

We survived Hurricane Ike!

Ike may not have been a very strong hurricane compared to others that have come through our neck of the woods, but he left a big impression. My husband and I are
both natives and even though Rita, which followed the devastating Katrina, was a strong hurricane there just wasn't as much damage that I remember or recovery time involved. With Rita, we were only out of power a short amount of time. I don't even remember losing power more than one day. But with Ike, we were without power for almost five days. The power outage reinforced our decision to have a gas stove and gas water heater. At least we could cook and have warm water since our water service was never interrupted. Our phone service was on at first, then off for a day or so, then back on again. I've never felt so isolated before. I couldn't call my older daughter, mother, sister or brothers. FEMA confiscated the cell phone lines for the first few days too, so if your cell was still charged you couldn't reach anyone anyway. Our daughter in another state could call our cell, but we couldn't call her.

The first two nights were so hot, I couldn't sleep, but then God blessed us with a cool front. I was almost at the point of thinking about washing a few clothes by hand before the electricity came back on. Hmmm, seems like I've done that before recently;)

We have friends in Ukraine right now and we couldn't call them or email them to see how their appointment went on the Monday following the hurricane.

One good thing, was that we got to know neighbors we've never met before. People were getting their grills out and pooling their food, that was going to go bad without electricity, together. Even when the lights came on, there were still some neighbors who really liked how things had been and still had their suppers outside:)

Little Miss Karina slept through the whole hurricane! The worst part for her was when it was dark and she couldn't see into every closet. She has quite an imagination.

Another thing that took backseat to Ike, was that Karina has been home for 5 months now!

Day off.

Today I took Karina to the community pool. She can beg me for hours to take her. She jumps off the diving board with the rest of the kids. I could tell she wanted to make friends with some of the kids there.

She is still very small and skinny. She remembers her birth mother and has shared some memories with us. I think they are typical of a lot of Ukraine children. There is more physical and mental abuse than I would have wanted her or any child to endure. I think she understands that it is all part of the past.

I talked to an old friend today that adopted a toddler from Russia ten years ago. I still remember picking his daughter up ten years ago and thinking how small she was for her age. It was good to hear from him and good to talk to someone who understands.

Papa

Changes

Karina went to the doctor this week just for a check-up. The doctor that did her examination in Ukraine, said that she detected a heart murmur. Well, our doctor didn't. They also measured how tall she was. They had a chart on the wall and she was 55 1/2 inches tall. That means she has grown over three inches in two months!

I was recently looking at pictures while we were in Kiev waiting on the passport. There is really a difference in her looks. I'm wondering how tall she'll be and how much she'll change in a year.

She's picked up several English phrases. 'That's a great idea', 'Very good', 'Put your clothes on'. Can you tell some of the things she hears around here? lol She uses 'put your clothes on' when referring to clothes in any context. Yesterday, we went out to eat with some friends. The husband said something and Karina responded 'Oh, well'. She opened the ketchup bottle and said 'Open the door'. Oh, well, she had the idea anyway. I wish she would understand 'that doesn't match' though. It seems like she pairs her clothes in like colors. Or colors she 'thinks' are alike. I can't get across the idea, yet anyway, that pink and orange don't go together!!

PS - 'put your clothes on' just means change out of play clothes or pajamas. I started worrying that someone might get the wrong idea:0

Good Nutrition

This is a subject I haven't seen discussed on adoption blogs. How much good nutrition affects our adopted children (and others). Yes, people talk about how much their child grows once home, but I've noticed even more. It may be because I was a hairdresser in my pre-stay at home days, but I've really noticed a big difference in Karina's hair. When we were in Ukraine, she wanted to put her hair up, mostly in pigtails. (I don't know what it is with Ukraine orphans and pigtails! lol) Well, I talked her into letting me braid her hair. It looked much better than plain pigtails. At that time, her hair was thin and sparse and almost fuzzy behind her ears, but now, what a difference. Her hair is thick. I never thought her hair would be. It helps a little that I've cut her hair twice since we've been home, but the fuzzy, sparse hair behind the ears is history. This may not be common knowledge, but I learned that when the body is lacking nutrients, it takes them from the hair. The hair needs every nutrient and amino acid that the body needs. Oh, the things we do to our hair!

Too Old for Baby dolls

I told Karina that she needed to clean her room because it was getting so bad you couldn't see the floor. When she cleans, she reorganizes everything. It's kind of funny, I do that too! I like to know that every bit of room is clean. Getting the time to do that is another story!

Anyway, she was going through her toys and decided she didn't need any of the baby doll stuff anymore, the baby, carrier, dishes, blankets, etc. She is twelve now and doesn't play with dolls. Well, she's been twelve ever since March 5, so I didn't understand the sudden change. When Dad got home, she told him the reason. Her fourteen year old friend, adopted from the same orphanage, might come over soon. Karina can't let her friend see her with baby dolls!

First Weeks Home and First Slide show

On Tuesday, Karina will have been home for eight weeks! It's hard to believe that it has been that long already. I thought we lived dull, boring lives, but we've done a a lot in these first few weeks. Karina went for her first nature walk. We brought home eight caterpillars, two Luna moths and six Regalis'. She has, and still is, scared to death of any and every bug, but she wanted to touch these caterpillars and pet them. Our two Luna caterpillars have cocooned and one hatched yesterday. We opened a window and it flew out last night. The other six caterpillars are growing like crazy. So she's getting a firsthand lesson in biology.

We've been to several social outings with our homeschool group. The pictures where she is playing in the water was the first one, volunteering for the local Children's Museum and swimming. The bonus in volunteering for the Children's Museum was that she was able to visit the Museum also. This was her second time to visit. The first time was when we met her when she came for camp over a year ago.

Her sister came for a visit. She lives in another state. This was the first time they had met and they got along great. It's amazing how much alike they are! One was born to us and we had to travel thousands of miles and wait weeks on end for the other one. We went to a cousin's graduation. So she got her picture taken with her two cousins and her grandmother.

We went to see Prince Caspian. She really liked that too. She wanted to go see another movie right after it was over. She's been to Chick-fil-a, the beach, rode on a ferry, witnessed a baptism in a friend's pool, loves going to Sunday School, loves to school at home, and has gone swimming a few times. That's all I can think of right now.

We can't wait to see how she does when she sees her first 4th of July Fireworks show. They put on a huge one at a mall near us.

New Video - The Rest of the Story

We finally have a new video telling the rest of the story of when we went back for a month to retrieve our daughter. We were in Ukraine for 5 weeks during December 2007 and January 2008. We came home for eight weeks to wait on a new birth certificate then went back from March 16-April 15, 2008. The video has mostly pictures of our return trip. There is one picture included that we took around Christmas time.

One Month Home

Things are getting back to normal. Karina is doing very good. They tell you all the horror stories and I have expected something bad to happen. We left her alone for the first time two weeks ago for her Sunday school class. She didn't want to go at first but it turned out to be something she now looks forward to. That and "little bit" Snickers.
Karina had a little problem with sleeping in the past. Some will probably gasp at this, but she slept with us in Stakhanov. Now she is happy to sleep in her own bed and has no problems sleeping. She has also stopped eating so much. I think she has grown at least three inches in the two months she has been out of the orphanage. She is becoming less clingy and more and more like a normal kid.
She gets along abnormally well with her Mother. I mentioned that we should buy her some shorter shorts to wear and Karina firmly told me that Mama says no short shorts. Well, excuse me!

I found a good youtube video. Go to youtube and do a search for "For the fatherless ukraine"

Dennis

Time Flies.

I can't believe we have been back two weeks now. Everything is so normal. I never expected Karina to be such a normal kid. I can't believe I have a twelve year old daughter. It makes me feel old, but I am keeping up pretty good. I can't help but think of where she would be right now if we hadn't taken that chance. Where would I be?
I look back at the experience of adopting and traveling to Ukraine. Some of the hardships are starting to fade a bit and some of the happy times come to the front.
I still haven't taken the Ukraine money out of my billfold and I probably won't. It's just a reminder, like the Keiv Cross necklace I wear.
Would I do it again? Yeah. We went for two and brought home one and left thousands behind.
Dennis

There's No Place Like Home, There's .......

I have to wholeheartedly agree with Dorothy on this one! Home seems so much better after you've been away for a while. The longer you're away, the more you miss it!

Karina is doing well. Actually much better than I anticipated. She has adjusted to our time here extremely well. We are eight hours behind Ukraine time. She absolutely loves her two big brothers. She keeps the one with the fur on his face, laughing all the time. I tell him, don't laugh, it just encourages her. He still laughs anyway. She also wears both brothers out! lol

Karina and her two brothers all have March birthdays. We missed all of them. Karina was in Ukraine on hers while we were waiting on the birth certificate and we were in Ukraine with Karina on both boys' birthdays. We did bring them something special from Ukraine. Karina bought and decorated a card for each of them and also bought a silly little man on a key chain. I think he's some type of well known character in Ukraine.

We traveled for almost 24 hours to get home. Karina slept on the last two plane rides, which were only about an hour and a half. A minute amount of time compared to the ten hour plane ride from Kiev to JFK. She didn't sleep on that one at all. She also slept an hour at the airport. Her body was on Ukraine time still. My husband's and my body didn't know what time to be on. We arrived home around 10:30pm Tuesday night. Karina was very sleepy until she saw the people waiting for us at the airport. The airport was almost empty since it was so late. She was handed flowers and balloons. The balloons are still floating a little. I had to get some sleep around 1am that night since I hadn't had any and I think Karina and Dad finally got to sleep around 2am. Well, she didn't sleep long because she was up at 7am and has only slept until 7 or 8 each morning since, until this morning when we needed to get up for church!

She looked so forward to riding a bicycle when we arrived home. She wanted to do everything in the first day! lol She did get to ride her bicycle, meet some new friends, swing and watch a movie or two on that first day. She is getting better about her little pouty fits, they are shorter, but she is still very impatient and wants everything right away. I'm sure time will cure that. Her brothers have also taught her to play some of our board games, games on the computer and they taught her how to play the X-Box yesterday. She'll have to learn that she can't dominate it, though. There is give and take in a family. The boys have been very patient with her and have allowed me to rest a little in the afternoons and get over my jetlag. I am planning on this week being back to normal, at least as much as possible. She also demands a lot of my attention, but so do all the clothes and dishes, not to mention fixing meals.

We had a time yesterday shopping for shoes for church. We did only go to resale shops at first, so the selection is limited. She thinks that shoes only fit if they are exactly as long as your foot. We had such a time when we bought her some tennis shoes (I'm sorry, that's what I've always called them) She wanted to squeeze her foot into the ones she liked. We kept telling her they were too small which ended up in a little fit because she didn't get those that day. We went back the next day and they had some in a bigger size. We tried to show her how you need a little room at the end of your toes. It seemed like we got our point across, but yesterday you would have thought we never told her that. I did have some shoes where I had guessed her size and she said they fit. Well, after she wore them a few minutes, she told me they hurt her feet. I bought her some flip-flops. She wore those, then decided that they hurt her toes, so now she won't wear her brand new shoes.

At the resale shop, she picked out all the 'oo-la-la' shoes. That's what she says when she likes something. Every pair she picked had high heels and were beyond a doubt for women, not little girls. It has been hard convincing her to dress like a little girl, not a fashion model like you see on the streets of Ukraine. I finally ended up just going and picking out her shoes for church by myself. If she didn't know what was available, then no fits and she would just have to wear what she had. Later, when I can reason with her, I will take her and let her pick out her own shoes. She does like the ones I picked out. I wasn't going to totally ignore her likes. The shoes are just like what all the other little girls wear.

The church dress is another story. A friend of mine gave me some beautiful hand me down dresses in great shape. The one I wanted her to wear was a typical little girl dress. She said people would laugh at her. We had a hard time convincing her that they wouldn't. Until she actually want to church and saw that they didn't. Some of the girls dress a little more casual, but many do wear nice dresses.

This is what I think happened to make her think like that. When she visited here in our area over a year ago, she took back some similar style dresses to the orphanage. The one she is wearing in our video, the blue and white checked dress, where she is reading out of a Bible Story book to the preacher of the church and the director whose ministry brought the children over was her favorite one. That is what I consider a typical little girl dress. You know, a church dress. Anyway, apparently she was laughed at when she wore those dresses at the orphanage. We really never saw the kids dressed up there except when the boys wore suits for special performances. They wore mostly dirty play clothes and some only wore those plastic slides. I think I've seen them called soccer shoes. It is sad that she had that negative experience.

She had been pretty willing to wear the clothes I have for her except she thinks her shorts are too long. She's just going to have to get used to having a mother tell her what she can't wear:)

Joy

Yesterday morning I watched Karina ride her bicycle way before I had planned on getting up. After traveling all day the day before. It has been over a year since we began this journey. Except for us talking in Russian, no one would know.

No one can know what a life changing experience this has been except the ones who have made that commitment. It was harder than I ever expected it to be, but I have gotten more from this experience than I could have ever imagined. In Kiev I met people who were there adopting for the same reason I was. I met a woman adopting four teenage children. Absolutely amazing.

We had the pleasure of spending time with a couple we met during the host program and their two new children. I had the Joy of experiencing plane, train and taxi rides, snow and sub zero weather, stinky socks, and weeks in a foreign country. I also got to meet and know personally, children living in an orphanage in a foreign country whose faces will always be with me.

We brought Karina home to a new life and she has fallen into place like the last piece in a puzzle.
Dennis

We're DONE!!!

We received our visa today at 2:30pm Ukraine time! We have flights reserved, but now we have to work out some details. There are two airports in our city. One is fifteen minutes away and the other is over an hour and a half, with no traffic. Guess which one we are tentatively booked to fly into? I'm sure we'll get it all worked out and hopefully will be home tomorrow night!

We met a mom today that has been here in Ukraine for almost 14 weeks! She and her husband have adopted 4 older children. Not all are biological siblings. After all the trials it's nice to be reminded of why we started this journey in the first place. But, I really, really miss home.

Hopefully the next post will be from home :)

Phase One of the VISA application done!

The passport finally arrived today! :) It didn't come until after 12pm, so we went to the Embassy this morning and took them some of the required documents and filled out forms to get the process started. They said that we could go ahead and start the process with the passport number. Then, later this afternoon, we took the original documents and the passport back to the Embassy. We weren't able to do the medical today, so that will be done on Monday morning. We have an appointment to receive the VISA at 2pm on Monday!! We are praying that all goes smoothly and we will be out of here on Tuesday. Finally!

I forgot to tell about the train problem. Our roomie never showed up! Our facilitator traded us his bottom berth since he couldn't make the train that night. I told him that the person might not be willing to trade a bottom for an upper, but we didn't have to even worry about it. It was so nice having the cabin all to ourselves. Our friends rode in the cabin next to us with their two (new:) children. Having them here has really helped our attitudes (and theirs) all the way around.

In Kiev for the last time

We arrived here in Kiev by train yesterday (Wednesday) Unfortunately (this is our facilitator's favorite word) the passport isn't here. We haven't heard anything, but are hoping that our facilitator will be able to pick the passport up tomorrow. The bad thing is that it is in Lugansk, far away from Kiev. We will be able to start the visa process, though once our facilitator knows the passport number, which is good. But, we won't make it out of Ukraine this weekend. At least we have another family here in Kiev with us to pass the time. After I finish this post, we are headed to ride the Funicular. We are so disappointed that things are taking this long, but we decided to try and do some fun things that we may never be able to do again.

I'm sure many are asking, including us, why is this taking so long? Many families have their passport within a week. We were told last Tuesday that some of the papers have been lost. Our friends only have one week into their passport wait for their two children, so they are hoping and praying that the passport office gets their stuff straight by the time their children's passports are due.

Still Waiting

(Should I warn you first that this is a very long post since I haven't posted since Monday?;)

Nothing much happened with the passport all week since the last post on Monday. Our facilitator was told yesterday, Friday, that he will be able to pick up the passport on Tuesday. It needs one more stamp so that K can go abroad permanently. Of course, Monday is a holiday (again) so we have to wait until Tuesday. In America, a passport is a passport is a passport. An adult passport is good for ten years. I'm not sure about a child's passport, but both are good for visiting anywhere in the world. There are no different levels of passports. Here in Ukraine, from what I think I understand, there are temporary and permanent passports and maybe many more levels.
Anyway, we are supposed to be able to pick up the passport on Tuesday. We've waited so long now, I'll only relax when it's in our possession.

We have had a full week otherwise. We have some friends that arrived here on Wednesday that were at the same place in their adoption as we were when we arrived. They have completed their two children's passport applications (a brother and sister). They are staying with us in the apartment. This apartment is larger than most we've seen here. It has two very large rooms, one small room and a tiny kitchen with only a hot pot. They were told the local hotel, the nice one anyway, is full, so we were more than happy to have them stay with us. It sure helps the time to pass much more quickly to be able to have someone to converse with (in English:) and share similar experiences. The mom of this family and I talk frequently by email, but both dads have never really gotten to know each other, so I think this is really good for both of them. Plus, us moms, had already decided to keep in touch because the children are from the same orphanage. We are all taking the train to Kiev on Tuesday evening. That will be an experience for both of us. The train to (and from) Kiev is very popular here. We could only get tickets from Lugansk, which will end up okay since we have to go there anyway to pick up the passport. There are too many of us to ride in one cab, though. But, we do have tickets in cabins right next to each other. I was looking at our eight tickets, because we wanted to buy the whole cabin, and noticed that we only had three of one cabin and one seat number was way off in the first cabin. I think, I may be wrong here, but it is my supposition that people buy bottom bunks in first class and someone bought the first bottom bunk in our cabin, so we have one bottom and two uppers. We are hoping (and praying) that the one person in our cabin with that other bunk will want to exchange tickets. The only problem is that it is and upper bunk and that's why we were able to buy it. I can't remember if I wrote about this already but on the way here, my husband and I shared a cabin with two men. We really had the two upper bunks. One of the men was already in the cabin when we arrived. We sat on one of the bottom bunks and when the other man arrived, he saw me and didn't really say anything and took the top bunk. We were very blessed that they were so nice. I've heard many other stories about train experiences. I couldn't sleep, though. It was so very hot. So, I was determined that we would buy our tickets soon enough to have a whole cabin to ourselves. We are praying that this other person won't want to ride with children and be willing to switch tickets with us.

Karina is very excited that she will get to spend some time with our friends and their children. She visited with them at the orphanage while they were here for the first part of their adoption. She has calmed down quite a bit. I think she is finally understanding that Mama and Papa want to give her things, but not because she gets mad at us for not doing it or any of the other bad behaviors she has demonstrated. All of our disagreements have stemmed from her being mad because she didn't get her way. From what I've observed, the other children at the orphanage seemed to want to appease her if she was mad at them, so she tried transferring that behavior to us. She learned pretty quickly that we didn't respond favorably to that type of behavior. We went all day yesterday without one mad spell! There is light at the end of the tunnel!! Maybe we are getting the message across. We did end up at the orphanage for a little while yesterday to meet up with our friends to walk to the orphanage director's house for dinner. She lives right across the street from the orphanage in a house. She and her husband have been slowly remodeling it for about ten years. I've heard that's the ultimate dream here to have your own house to fix up. Anyway, Karina was different during this orphanage visit. I could see her time with us has changed her. She and her dad had bought some candy to take and of course she wanted to give every bit of it away to the first children she saw. Dad convinced her to wait just a little. She even ended up giving away the bag she brought the candy in, which I had bought for her. I can understand better now. She probably sees how much more she has and will have than her friends.

We got a lot of great Pictures of her friends for keepsakes for her. We will probably send some to them as well. They just love seeing their pictures in the digital camera. I think digital cameras are the best invention ever!! You can take as many photos as you want, save them all, then only develop the ones you want.

We also met an Italian couple that is here adopting an adorable seven year old boy. He is so happy. He smiles all the time. He doesn't look seven though. He is so small. The husband could speak a good amount of English, he said he didn't know much, but he knew enough to converse with us and understand everything we said. They told us that another Italian couple was also here adopting. I am very glad to see the children from this orphanage being referred for adoption. We were told that until this year, there were only a handful of adoptions from this orphanage. If I told you the town name, I'm pretty sure that not very many people would know it. One disadvantage many of the children in this orphanage have toward being adopted is that the majority have many siblings. One little girl is one of six or seven children living at the orphanage. That is a very sad thing to me that whole families are not together.

Our dad was very sad yesterday because of our host child. She always comes up to us when we're there. She hugs us and calls us Mama and Papa. That was very hard for me to take since she told us no. It was very confusing to me. Then I realized, that even though her aunt visits her occasionally, at least we gave her something. We showed her what a family could be like and we gave her love. We will still keep in touch with her and probably the other children we have met there. This has truly been a life changing experience for us. There are so many children here who need families.

We promised Karina and our host child that we would visit one last time on Monday. Karina saw that her dad was upset. She can't stand to see us cry, even when it is happy tears. She told her dad not to cry today. He can cry on Monday and she will too.

Still no Passport

We haven't heard anything today about the passport. Each day we are getting closer to receiving it, so tomorrow looks hopeful. It would be nice to be on the train to Kiev on Wednesday night. Then we would have Thursday and Friday to do the medical and go to the Embassy. Then we're out of here!

Karina is really very good considering we took her out of the only home she's known for the past four years. She has been surrounded by only children with no one on one adult supervision. She's done what it take to survive in that environment. All children test their parents. It's just easier to handle one bad behavior at a time and not allow bad habits to form. She needs to know what our expectations are and we need to know the most effective way to deal with her. I just feel like we have the disadvantage right now, since when we get out of the apartment and are around Russian speakers, she doesn't 'understand' us like when it's just us in the apartment. She has also 'threatened' to go back to the Internat when she doesn't get her way or we don't buy her what she wants. It'll pass.

Today, when we went to the supermarket, she chose a birthday card for each of her brothers. They won't necessarily care about how 'pretty' the cards are, but they'll know she was thinking of them.

I forgot to mention some of our other food experiences we've had. One day, we went to the outside open market to buy some salami or kielbasa as they call it. We chose a package that was totally sealed up, so you couldn't see what was inside. When we got home, we had a nice size chub of smoked cream cheese! I didn't know there was such a thing. When I looked closely at the package, under the price written in black marker was the word for cheese.

We've also tried a couple of the food stands. There is one chain in Kiev which sells rectangular individual pizza bread for 6 greevna, which is about $1.20 USD. (it's called Fonetti's and the stands are orange and blue) The pizza breads are very good, especially if you catch them when they are hot. We kept seeing people buy some type of kolache style buns, but bigger at our little open market. One morning we bought K one. They cooked it right when it was ordered. It ended up being pretty big. About 3 times the size of a honey bun with some type of ground meat inside. K really liked it. It was pretty good. I guess she's our very willing guinea pig to try some of these things. She knows how to order. We tried something similar today. K ended up with something like the huge whatever it was the other day and we had a similar bun with a sausage type pattie inside. It was good too. We have been very blessed that we haven't gotten sick from anything we've eaten. We just go to the local supermarket and buy cooked skewered chicken, salami, ham, yogurt, juice, butter, etc. We've found some inexpensive soda type drinks we like. At the open market we buy Ramen noodle soup and instant potatoes. The only cooking type of appliance we have in our apartment kitchen is a hot pot. I found a large package of Ramen noodles and then we went to the supermarket and bought some Italian type sauce to make spaghetti. We are going to use some of the chicken skewer chunks for our meat. We tried some cooked hamburger-looking patties from the supermarket once, but they weren't anything like hamburger. There is another blog where they posted about oatmeal and tuna. We found some tuna. It wasn't quite as chunky as we're used to and it was more expensive, but it was tuna. I also bought some oatmeal and made it for breakfast. It was very good and super easy to fix. I just put the amount of oatmeal I wanted in a bowl, poured just enough hot water to cover, covered the bowl with a plate and waited a few minutes. I then added butter and some sugar. (I really like brown sugar, but the store didn't have any) It was really good and cheap! K said she didn't like it. Then I told her to just taste a little of mine. Well, that changed her mind. I think she'll be eating some tomorrow morning;)

The City Park and Food

We went to 'the' park in the city we are in today. It is still a little cold here when the wind blows. Karina found a little boy to play with. I would guess he was 4. She loved running after him and they played on all the playground equipment. She told him to be careful at times. Then, a little girl came up and they really hit it off. This little girl was just a tiny bit taller than Karina. When the parents needed to go, the little girl gave Karina her phone number. We asked how old the little girl was and Karina said she was 8. I guess sometimes it's good when you can be any age at anytime. lol

We have been going to the local pizza place almost everyday for lunch. We've only gotten up the courage to try two different kinds, Chicken and one called 'Feer-min-ahta' The Chicken pizza's name is spelled phonetically with Cyrillic letters, so we knew what it was. I could somewhat make out the words for the other one. We looked at one called 'Kalifornia' (phonetically spelled in Cyrillic) and asked Karina what one word was. She baaa'ed like a lamb. Their idea of certain foods here is definitely different. We tried something different today. We ordered 'potatoes free', the potato word was in Russian and the free was spelled phonetically. I wondered what type of potatoes would be 'free' It ended up to be french fries, so that ended up okay even though they put garlic on them. We also ordered Spaghetti. It looks very different spelled in Cyrillic, and the dish was very different too. No red sauce. Just spaghetti noodles with melted, grated white cheese, ham chunks and mushrooms. Karina liked it anyway. We ended up ordering a 'feer-min'ata' So much for experimentation!

Better Day

I have a better perspective today. But, I'm allowed to be down just a little occasionally, right? I'm sure a lot of my negativeness the other day was because we are missing both of our boys' birthdays. One turns 19 today.

Also, I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should. The sun comes up here around 5am. That's a lot earlier than at home. It's closer to 7am there.

We have two weeks behind us so we are that much closer to going home. I'm sure things will change this next week and once we are home, Karina will adjust just fine. She's very bright and has already taught herself to somewhat sound out English words. She just needs to get over her stubborness and let us correct her when she's wrong;)

Still Waiting on the Passport and Behavior

It's almost 5pm on Friday afternoon here and we still have no word on the passport. It's only been a week now, but we were being optimistic. We do anticipate hearing something at least by mid-week.

I had read about orphanage behavior and that children from orphanages are emotionally immature, but it's something else when you experience it first hand! Somedays our twelve year old acts like a two year old. Then in other ways she's older. She is physically smaller than most twelve year olds we've seen or known. I'm not very tall, 5'3, but by the time our biological daughter was twelve, she was getting taller than me. She did end up being about 5'7. I had read that orphanage children are physically smaller also. We decided to adopt an older child because we didn't want a younger child and along with that younger child behaviors. As soon as I think we are making progress, she digresses. I believe part of that is that we are still in her 'environment' She kind of gets the big head, because we don't understand everything spoken in the market, etc, but I do know enough Russian to get by and we got along just fine before she went to the market and places with us. I don't mind her feeling important, but it seems like when she is out around other Russian speakers, she gives us a harder time. When we stay inside our apartment and it's just us, she's usually fine. I thought she would be overwhelmed by all the things she sees and she does take everything in, but it seems like things don't over whelm her. She's never shed a tear about leaving the orphanage, but today (when she was acting like a three year old) she seemed to be trying to appear to be crying.

I've heard that this time is important for bonding, and I'm sure it is, but I can't help but think that once we're home, many, many miles from her orphanage, many of these behaviors will cease.

The Most Wanted Gift

During our waiting time for the birth certificate, we deliberated on what to bring back as gifts for the children. We tried to find things that we could buy a large quantity of, but also fairly inexpensive. I bought necklaces for special girl friends and found some Christmas lip gloss marked way down. We bought a few regular size frisbees for older boys and little frisbees for the small boys plus cars which are always a hit. When we arrived here in region, Dad decided to find some Barbie style dolls for some of the girls we met.

We came back to visit the orphanage last Sunday and were taken into some type of visiting room with a dilapidated bed that I think someone uses. Maybe whoever is on duty during the night. We were accompanied by many children. We gave out toys to everyone who was there. We also had Russian New Testaments, that we intended for the older children or at least those who could read, but we only had about 18 of them. They were gone quickly. I turned around and noticed that there was a good sized group of young children standing by me wanting something. I gave a small frisbee to one, but he didn't want it. Neither did another child. I realized that all the children standing there had been given a toy. They didn't say anything, I guess because they knew I spoke English and they didn't understand it, but it suddenly dawned on me that they wanted a Bible. Out of all the toys we brought, a Bible was the most wanted gift!

Life is Interesting

Since we have Karina with us, we have to take turns at the internet. When we both came with her the last time, she kept wanting my attention. Dad tried to keep her busy, but had to leave while I finished my internet time. She and Dad are at the supermarket while I am here. He had his turn while she and Barbie were bathing. She would take several a day, but I told her only one in the evening. We don't do that much.

I don't know if our 10 day wait will be 10 business days or 10 calendar days. Our facilitator has gone to Kiev. He always did go back to Kiev on the weekends. He didn't tell us how long he will be gone. We are going to ask him how the 10 days works and if there is a possibility we could go to Kiev to wait out the remainder of the time. Then we would be there to go to the Embassy.

Karina didn't come away with much from the orphanage. On Thursday, when we picked her up to take her to the passport office, she had a group of girls around her saying 'Goodbye'. She didn't realize that we had to come back to sign papers for her release. She was coming with us that day, but we still needed to give out the gifts we brought her friends and teachers. Apparently, adoptive parents don't give parties. Maybe because it disturbs their routine or maybe because there just isn't time with all the passport preparation and such.

When we picked her up, she was carrying a bag of clothes, a Barbie and a stuffed animal. We had given her another Barbie plus many hair clips, purses and other things, but apparently she gave all those away and had the Barbie we gave the other girl we were going to adopt. Only one pair of jeans out of those clothes were what we had given her.

She hasn't acted at all like she's missed anyone. No tears at all. On Friday, we did run into the other little girl that we came to adopt and Karina immediately started giving away the hair clips she had on. I guess she thinks we will buy her more.

Meals in our apartment have to be done just so. Karina likes to arrange all our food so that it is pretty. Tonight, she made us some instant potatoes and did all the plates of food by herself.

Day two with Karina

This is Karina's second day out of the orphanage. We spent the morning at the passport office. They kept finding mistakes like one letter wrong in her name on her new Russian birth certificate. They also kept needing more copies of the documents and even one time, the orphanage director had to come to the passport office. We were finally called in to view which of the two photos we thought should be on her passport. She wanted the one with the serious look and of course, we wanted the one with the slight smile. I think we won out because the passport ladies wanted the smile one also.

We ate lunch at the pizza place for the second time. We decided we were going to do the ordering today because yesterday we let Karina order since she speaks Russian and can read the menu while it takes me a long time to figure out the sounds of the words. She ordered the most expensive pizza they have, which really isn't that expensive compared to what we're used to plus chips. She also wanted a chocolate candy bar and ice cream. We said no to the candy and ice cream.

She was also telling the taxi driver to come back tomorrow to take us somewhere we think it was back to the orphanage since we have gifts for her to give her friends. Dennis had to call back and tell him not to come. So much had to be done for the passport application and signing her out of the orphanage that she wasn't able to give them out yet.

Now, we have to wait 10 days for the passport to be done. We'll have to ask when we can leave for Kiev to go to the American Embassy and then we're headed home.

The Day

Today has been a long day and June and Karina are at the apartment. June must be tired to give me permission to do a blog entry. Karina spent her last night in an orphanage. Today she was a big part of the family and we spent most of the day trying to get the passport. No problems, but we have to go back tomorrow morning.
This evening we went shopping and I watched my wife of twenty six years and our new daughter pick out girl things for the shower and lots and lots of food. Karina requested one of almost everything in the store. In the store we were approached by a man with very broken English. He lives in America and Ukraine is his homeland.
He asked if it was an adoption, and when I said yes, He thanked me. It has been an interesting day.
Dennis

Wednesday, March 19 -- Arrived in Region

We've been traveling since Sunday morning. Twenty five hours flying and 14 hours on the train. All that plus losing 7 hours has made me lose track of time a little.

This has been our first opportunity to get internet access.

We arrived in region this morning. After dropping off our luggage, we went to the orphanage. We saw a friend's little boy that is being picked up in a couple of weeks. They are at the same stage of the process as we are. We went into the director's office and our daughter was called in. She was shown her new birth certificate with her new name! We then took her for passport photos. After we dropped her off at the orphanage, we then went to sign the passport application at the notary's office. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we will pick her up and all go to the passport office. THEN, we get to keep her with us from now on!!!

Of course, she was ready to go right away, but the orphanage director wants us to sign some papers tomorrow after the passport application process is complete.

We are all so ready to be finished with this and now it is days away!

I wish we could post pictures, but we don't have the ability to do that until we get home.

Monday, March 17 -- Arrived in beautiful...grey, rainy Kiev!

Kiev has changed in the two months since we left. It is much warmer and rainy. But that doesn't matter one bit. We are here to pick up our daughter!! :)

Back to Ukraine, finally!!

Well, the day we have waited for is almost upon us. It only took two months:0

We received word that our facilitator has the new birth certificate and it is apostilled. We are leaving Sunday, March 16 to bring our daughter home to America!! Or as she says it 'damoy America' This means 'coming home to America' in Russian.

The Wind is Changing

Remember, when Burt said that on the movie, 'Mary Poppins'? It signaled that something was about to happen. I probably know most of that movie by heart, because when our daughter was 3 years old, (now she's 24) she couldn't get enough of watching that movie. It drove my mother-in-law crazy!

Well, the wind is changing in our lives. God IS moving!

Stay Tuned:)

Miscellaneous

We still have no news about when we can go back for our daughter. All we can do right now is pray that it will be soon.

Now that we are home and have access to DSL, I wanted to post some things that I would like to remember, but didn't have time to post while in Ukraine. They do keep you fairly busy there with all the adoption stuff. Just some miscellaneous things that hopefully will be helpful to someone along the way.

1. McDonald's is just as expensive in Kiev as here. To be fair, we did only visit the Independence Square one.

2. Computer keyboards are the same as here. They just add small Cyrillic letters onto the keys. I think that would make it harder for those who use the Cyrillic alphabet.

3. Downy Wrinkle Release was a lifesaver for us. We used it for our SDA and court clothes. Which did happen to be the same;)

4. The Kiev sites seen on blogs are even more beautiful in person!

5. In the Independence Square underground mall (go down the entrance close to McDonald's) we saw a phone store that sold a Kievstar phone for 69rph (greevna) which comes to around $14USD. SIM and minutes are extra. This was in December 2007/January 2008.

6. This applies to a Kievstar cell phone (but may also apply to all phones): to call the US, dial 815 then 1 plus area code and number, just like dialing long distance here.

7. Everyone brings their own bags for shopping. This includes the grocery store, bakery, etc. Except maybe the mall. We didn't buy anything but food there.

8. We used bungie cords for drying our hand-washed clothes. Very sturdy. We bought one of those Lewis and Clark clotheslines with the suction cups and clips. If you have somewhere to clip the line, it might work okay, but it is still not sturdy enough for very heavy clothes. The suction cups don't work on tile.

9. We were not given washrags in the apartments we stayed in, just hand towels and bath towels. Most were thin, so if you like fluffy, thick towels and washrags, bring your own. Though they won't be so fluffy after hand washing and air drying.

10. For some reason, we were stared at a lot. My husband said it was my cream colored scarf. (see video)

Waiting and Waiting

We wait and then we wait some more. All we can do is study Russian and harass our facilitator by email and by phone. We made phone contact today. I like the guy, but I think we should contact him on a regular basis. We have been able to talk to Karina via S&T who are visiting there now. It is good to hear my daughter's voice and know she is safe but we are anxious to bring her home.
Faith and Trust.
DRB

Holding Pattern

We arrived back home three weeks ago. We all took turns being sick, but I think we are all well now.

Our facilitator told us that he was going to Moscow last Monday to get our daughter's birth certificate. He is supposed to contact us when he gets back to Ukraine. We haven't heard anything yet, so we are assuming he is still waiting on the birth certificate. Apparently, this is a very unusual thing for an adopted child in Ukraine to have a birth certificate from another country. It seems to be complicated even though Ukraine used to be part of Russia. Ukraine was it's own country when our daughter was born, though. We have been told that Moscow is a difficult region, so they were not sure how long this would take or how many 'officials' the birth certificate would have to go through. We are hoping that the original birth certificate with her new adopted name can be issued quickly, like in a day or two or three and taken to the town where she is. But then again, are things really that simple in Ukraine? The judge has already agreed to change her birthplace, but he wanted an original Moscow birth certificate since that is the way they do things in Moscow. In Ukraine, they just change the birth certificate and it usually takes only a day.

We're not sure about all of the specifics, but our facilitators told us that since our daughter has been in the custody of Ukraine, that she is a citizen of Ukraine, even though she was born in Moscow. There is supposed to be an understanding between Russia and Ukraine, that Russia will honor the legal documents of Ukraine that have declared us to be her parents.

We don't quite understand how she is a citizen of Ukraine when she was born in Moscow. It could be that she is a citizen of Ukraine because her mother is/was actually a citizen of Ukraine. I guess it's not like the US. From what I understand, all you have to do is to be born in the US to be a citizen. I thought it was that way everywhere. Then again, I remember reading about Ukraine citizens going to another country to work, having a child and abandoning it. The child ends up in the orphanage of that country, but is still a Ukrainian citizen. This child was stuck in this system unable to be adopted in this country or returned to Ukraine.

Anyhow, we are praying to hear that all this is cleared up soon and would appreciate others praying with us. This is really a very difficult situation to be in. We have a daughter that is stuck in another country and have no idea when we can go get her. She is very anxious to come home to us and we are just as anxious to have her here.

Video of Pictures

Hubby and our youngest son created a video with pictures from our trip that you can see to the right.

It's still Christmas in Kiev!

Since we have some time before we leave, we thought we would go walking and exploring yesterday and today. We've found a lot of places that I've read about and seen pictures of on other adoption blogs and in our Ukraine travel guide by Bradt. We found a huge park with a soccer stadium at one end and lots of statues. There are a couple of overlooks viewing the frozen Dneper (Dnipro?) River. The river has waves in the ice like it froze while flowing. We saw a couple of areas where crowds were gathered with people in Santa Claus suits and big stuffed animal suits similar to characters at Disney World. There were also blue-coated Santa type figures that I think may be Father Frost, but don't quote me. I'm not an expert on Ukrainian traditions.

Last night, we decided to explore another street that we hadn't been down before. The Santa celebrations were still going on. There is a gigantic lighted Christmas tree in Independence Square. More elaborate than we have ever seen. It has about three different patterns of lights including colored diamond shapes. There are all types of lights lining the streets and all the way down the one we planned to explore. All the lighting is beautiful! We didn't expect anything like that and got out of the apartment without our camera. We plan on capturing some of the sights in a little while since it gets dark here at 4pm.

Today, we found a long, skinny underground mall under Kreschatyk street. I hope I spelled that right. There is every kind of specialty shop imaginable. Now, finding a grocery store with all the things you need like TP, toothpaste, water and food is a different challenge.

We've eaten at 3 different restaurants since FRiday. We ate at O'Brien's, an Irish style pub where the waitresses speak English, which is across the street and down to the right a little from our apartment building. Yesterday, we ate at Budmos, which specializes in Ukrainian food. Ask for their English menu. It was good, but small portions compared to the restaurants we're used to. Also, we thought O'Brien's was expensive, but both restaurants were comparable in price. Budmos' is near O'Brien's, on the street that crosses our apartment street. Budmo's is in the middle of two other restaurants that we think serve Ukrainian food also. Today, we ate at Double Coffee. I got the Greek Salad which has been good at other places, but Double Coffee doesn't seem to put the dressing on it. Hubby got a cheeseburger. He found out it is literally a 'cheese' burger. It was a bun with a round breaded cheese-stick inside.

I'm running out of time on this computer, but after I get settled at home, (will be there Wednesday) I'm going to detail more of our food experiences.

Final Court

One Note: Annonymous(es), please sign at least your first name so I'll know who you are:)

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to post in a couple of days. The past few days have gone by very quickly. When you wait here in Ukraine, you wait! When things start happening, watch out:)

We showed up for our 2nd and final court appearance on Thursday, January 10 at 10am. The director had just arrived with K. We all walked into the courthouse together. Shortly after, the Social Worker arrived. We waited in the hall until we were told we could go into the courtroom. At one end is the bench where the judge sits with a juror on either side of him. There were two ladies in their beautiful fur coats in those seats. They walked in after we were already seated on the wooden pew-type benches. We stood as they filed in. There was another lady sitting on the side to the left of us. We're not really sure who she was, but she asked a lot of questions.

We were asked if we believe in this court, and we said yes. That's what our facilitator said which I'm sure meant that we recognized the power of that court. We were told that we could ask for another judge and jury. We didn't have the same judge as the first day because he was ill. The first judge was a white haired in his late fifties early sixties and very nice. This judge was younger, maybe in his thirties. We really didn't get to meet him. There was a lot of reading of Ukrainian legal papers before during and after. We were asked to stand up and state our names, where we were born, where we live now and jobs. I was so nervous, I let my husband do most of the speaking when possible. K was able to sit between us. She was nervous also when asked to speak. She had to tell about how she came to the orphanage. The Social worker and orphanage worker were asked to speak also. The lady on our left asked questions about how we would provide for K, health insurance and something about education insurance. I'm not sure what that meant. We were asked how we would communicate with K. I've learned some Russian, not near enough to understand anyone here, but a few words here and there to help, so I told them that and that we had taken a Russian language class and had Russian language CDs. Before that the lady asked how we knew K. She also asked why we weren't adopting the child who stayed in our home during the camp K came to America for. The fact that we hosted a child wasn't mentioned so either they assumed we hosted a child or they read our dossier. We were asked to each make a closing statement. Dennis did very well. I started by saying that we had always wanted more children and I was unable to have any more, so we considered adoption. Then, I couldn't help it. I couldn't hold the emotion back anymore. K was upset that I was crying some. She was telling me no, and wiping my eyes. She acts like that is a bad thing. I tell her they are happy tears, but she still doesn't seem to understand.

The court recessed for 5-10 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. They came back and we all stood up. The judge started reading the paper in front of him, in Ukrainian of course. I kept hearing him say, K's new name and looking at K to see her reaction. She had no reaction. Our facilitator was in front of me. I didn't see any reactions from anyone else. After the judge was through, our facilitator turned around and congratulated us telling us we were parents. The two lady jurors walked by and each talked to K with tears in their eyes. I couldn't see the one straight in front of me, but my husband said she was tearing up the whole time. We were very blessed to have two compassionate ladies as jurors.

We still have the 10 day wait with an unknown wait for the birth certificate from Moscow. We spent a few hours with K and rode the train to Kiev on Thursday night. We are in Kiev until Tuesday. We were able to use the remainder of our roundtrip tickets on Aerosvit. Now we just need to book a flight home from JFK. It will be nice to be home for a while, but we will miss K terribly. Hopefully, it won't be too long before we are flying back over here.

Court Today

Our preliminary court appearance must have gone well because we have a court date for Thursday at 10am. The judge asked us if we knew K, when we met her, why we wanted to adopt her, if the other members of our family are in agreement to bring her into our home and if we were both in agreement. Then he asked the orphanage director questions. We're not sure exactly what they were except for asking about her family. We'll have to get all the answers later.

Since our court date is Thursday, we were hoping to head home that night but the airline we have our round-trip tickets with doesn't have any room availabe until the 17th. Our original departure date is the 24th. I was surprised that the flights are so booked out of here in January. I guess they want to get away from the freezing temperatures as much as we do! I tried to find other flights, but they are very expensive, so I'm not sure what we will do.

Countdown to Court

Well, we are finally down to just a few days before our first of two court appearances. Our court date is still on Tuesday, the 8th. Our facilitator has been out of town celebrating the Holidays in Kiev for the past two weeks and will arrive here the morning of our court date. Talk about cutting it close!

In the meantime, we have been visiting our little girl everyday at the orphanage. She likes to ask us, 'Mama, Papa, K, symeya?'(family) We tell her yes, she is our dochka (daughter) She seems to need assurance. We've told her what day we are going to court. I made a calendar one day and showed her how many days from that one to when we go to court. Then told her that Mama and Papa will go the first day, then she and the orphanage director will come whenever the judge says. Of course, I am not fluent in Russian (which is what she speaks) but with a Russian dictionary, the few words I know and an electronic translator a friend let us borrow, we get the point across. I think she's learning some English along the way too. There is an English teacher at their school, but if you don't have someone fluent in the language you are learning, it's hard to retain. Like us learning Russian.

Today, we were granted a very high honor. When we took her back to the building where her room is, she went and brought out her treasure box. She was showing me the contents of it. She shows me things all the time, like drawings she's done and such. Then, she told me to take it home to America. We plan on going home during the ten day court wait and she knows that. I don't know exactly why she wants us to take it now instead of waiting until we come to pick her up for good from the orphanage, but we will. Maybe it will give her comfort to know that something of hers is already in her new home before she gets there.