Thursday, December 27, 2007

Lots of Holidays and Court

Ukrainians love celebrating around this time of year. As a result of this, we will have to wait until January 8 for our first court appearance. In our region, you have to appear twice before the judge. The first time, we the parents, appear before the judge to ask for the soonest day to have the next court appearance and I think we will answer questions from the judge. At the second court day, our little girl along with the director and social worker will be there as well.

Our papers were all ready last Friday, which was around a week after arriving in the region. K had to go to the doctor on two different days for all the medical exams needed. Our facilitator had to gather all documents from the orphanage director, social worker, doctor and who knows where else to take these to court and somewhere along the way to the SDA. Sometimes communication isn't so clear. We think he means one thing, then it turns out opposite. Usually we get it straightened out in the end. I find myself listening to what he says, trying to evaluate what he means, then asking again to make sure we understand. That's one piece of advice I have to anyone coming, make sure you are very clear on what your facilitator is telling you. Even if you have to ask several times.

After court, and I think after the 10 day wait period, then the birth certificate can be applied for from Moscow. The way we understand it is, we have to have officially adopted her here and since she is a 'ward of the state', there is an understanding between Ukraine and Russia that they will honor that and give her original birth certificate. The judge here had no problem changing the place of birth on the birth certificate, but they need the original or maybe permission(?) to do it. At least that's what we understand. Anything is prone to change!

So, back to the celebrating. Our facilitator is gone for two weeks to celebrate the holidays. He is supposed to be back the weekend before court. We're okay. We are set-up to eat two meals at the restaurant that is part of the same building as our apartment. We have the number of a taxi driver who knows where to pick us up and where to take us. Even though it costs $12 a day over and above what we've paid our facilitator/driver. That may not sound like a lot for a few times, but when you add up 2 weeks worth, that is close to $150 or more. US dollars.

At least we do get to see K everyday. Tomorrow morning she plays a lead role in a New Year's program. Can't wait to see it!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas Day at the Orphanage

Well, it was Christmas Day to us anyway, even though it isn't here. When we mentioned when Christmas was to us, our (soon-to-be) little girl got excited and said she was going to make us a gift. She did. She took some old Christmas cards and on the inside copied a verse that she probably read from somewhere, in English. She took another part of a card and drew us a beautiful picture and decorated it with yarn. I've noticed they recycle alot here. I probably noticed because I've always tried to do that with my kids. I decided that we needed to give her a Christmas gift also, so I took one of the gift bags I brought and gave her some of the clothes I brought for her. In this bag was some fuzzy pink house shoes I bought for her at Wal-mart. They may have cost all of $5. We also brought some little chocolate covered cakes we bought at the little market next to us. Some things cost the same here as at home and other things are very cheap. There are markets everywhere here. There is a supermarket,as well as lots of little shops, then there is an outdoor market that offers just about everything from household goods to clothes to food. There is one lady we buy crackers and cookies from, so we thought we'd try some of her little cakes. We brought several to share. Our little girl loves to share. In fact I think she gives almost everything I give her away because I see the hair clips I've given her in other girls' hair. She asked if she should share the clothes I gave her with T. I told her they were for her only. She was showing off her clothes to her friends. All of them wanted to feel the pink fuzzy house shoes. It made me want to cry when I saw the girls ooohing and aaahing over such a simple little thing that we take for granted. I've been feeling a little sad and lonely being over here so far away from my home and children. But this put things into perspective just a little bit for me. It made me realize once again how little these children have, even though they have somewhere to live, clothes and food, they have no mother to buy them little pink fuzzy house shoes. Every girl deserves to own a pair of pink fuzzy house shoes at least once in her lifetime.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Things to know when arriving in Ukraine

There are some things we've learned along that way that weren't specifically told to us by our agency that are very important to know for those of you waiting to travel.

The first thing is, when your plane is close to landing, the flight attendants will go around passing out a piece of paper. I was expecting this because of reading another blog, but even when I took the paper, it was still confusing. The Cyrillic lettering stands out the most, but if you take the time and look closely, there is English written underneath in smaller lettering. The form is an Immigration form, but spells the word, 'Immigracion' I'm assuming this is just a mis-spelling. I was confused since immigration to me means that you are wanting to actually immigrate to this country. That's not what it means. It is a form for anyone who is not a Ukrainian. The form has two identical sides except one say 'Arrival' and the other says 'Departure'. Fill out both sides, even though it asks for the same exact information. Some of the wording is not exactly how we are used to seeing forms worded. When you arrive at the airport, you will have to show your passport and this form to someone at 'Passport Control." They will tear the form in half and keep the 'Departure' side. You are to keep the arrival side in your passport at ALL TIMES. Plus, keep your passport on you at all times just in case you may be asked for it. This is a very, very important thing to remember. OUr facilitator did tell us this, after he took us to our apartment. We haven't been asked for our passport and we walk everywhere except the orphanage. For those who may worry about it.

We did fill out the Customs Declaration form also, each one of us separately, even though I had less than $3000 worth of valuables and cash. The officer said I didn't even have to fill mine out. He was very nice. No searches, like I've heard other people tell of. The form only asks for cash and valuables. There are also some very specific questions. It doesn't even ask about prescriptions, like I had heard. I don't have the form with me or I would quote it. We did put most of our things on one form since we had taken a cart and put our luggage on it. The Borispol airport doesn't charge for carts like JFK. Also, when you see the Customs forms, there is one table with forms in Ukrainian and one table in English. They are right next to each other.

When I have more time I'll have to tell you about our JFK experience! All this extra security can make a normal law-abiding citizen feel like a criminal!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Final Decision

We have visited with our two girls everyday since arriving last Friday. This morning, we met with the Director, Asst. Director, a teacher, the translator and T, one of our little girls. When we first arrived with the SW, she said she wanted two days to think about going with us. The director told us last Monday, that she told her no. We met with T and the translator to tell her the consequences of her decision. She says she knows she will be put out on the street as early as age 15, which is only in three years. K, our other girl has talked to her and told her the same things. By the way, this is the same little girl that supposedly had no file and a little sister.

The Director wanted to give her one more chance. By the end of this morning's meeting, they were all shaking their heads as to why she would choose not to come with us. Everyone thinks it would be best for her including the SW, but she has family here that visits often. The SW says that she can't live with her family. The aunt T always mentions has alcohol problems. She's twelve and by Ukrainian law can make her own decision.

K on the other hand has been ready to go with us from day one. She wants a family. She wants to come to America. All her documents will be ready in the morning. We're assuming for the SDA. The only problem is that she was born in Russia. They are seeing what can be done, but this may delay her coming home with us even after court is done. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

In Region

We arrived in the region where our girls reside on Friday morning after a 14 hour all-night train ride. We didn't sleep a whole lot. Once the train arrived at our destination our facilitator took us to meet the Social worker. Everything with this adoption seems one way at first and then all of a sudden, things change. We had to appeal our homestudy, then we went into our appointment not knowing what would happen only to find out both girls files were waiting on us. Now, when we reach the region, the SW tells us the one that supposedly didn't have a file before our appointment, has a little sister. The SDA made no mention of a sister. They told us she was the youngest and had older siblings. The SW did some calling and told us that the little sister was unadoptable. She was too ill. They didn't know how to communicate to us just exactly what was wrong. Apparently, the younger sister can't hold herself up and won't be able to do anything for herself at all. We didn't really have a chance to decide on whether to adopt her or not. They didn't give us a choice. This was extremely upsetting to hear that there is a sister that neither she nor us will ever know her.

We were able to visit with the girls right after meeting in the SW worker's office. The two SW we met are young, in their twenties and know all the children and care deeply for them. The SW that went to the orphanage with us took coloring books to give to one little boy. She knew each child that came up to her by name.

We had a very good first visit on Friday. One is a little hesitant and asked for two days to think about it, but I'm sure she'll come around. I think she was just overwhelmed with all the people in the room. She has already asked what her room looked like.

We met with the girls today also. We played about 8 games of Go Fish and even more of Battle. It will be a challenge to keep them occupied in this frozen winter weather when we can't go outside.

We're learning to shop at the local Supermarket. It's a lot easier to take your time reading the Russian labels than when you are pressed for time in a restaurant. Learning the Russian alphabet sounds are a must or at least having some kind of chart handy. We've been able to find things in the store that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to. Not all packing has pictures or see-through plastic. The few Russian words we've been able to learn have come in handy too. It's hard to pick some out when they are mixed in with lots of rapid Russian, but knowing how to say a few vital words has helped us get our point across, especially when our facilitator left us here over the weekend and the taxi driver whom he gave us the number for, doesn't speak any English.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

SDA Apointment

Right now, it's 2:40pm in Kiev 0n Wednesday, December 12. Our SDA appointment was at 12 o'clock. We hardly slept last night from being nervous about this. We were all dressed and waiting for our facilitator to call. We hadn't heard anything from him since the day we arrived. We decided that if he didn't call by 11:30, we were going to call him. Well, he beat us to it, so we didn't have to call him. He told us he was stuck in traffic. So, now we're worrying about being late for our appointment. He finally shows up to drive us to our appointment. He goes in first to tell them we are here. Then, we are told to go in. We walk through the door and stand in a small space at the bottom of some stairs with another couple. I don't know where they're from, but they speak Spanish because their interpreter asked them. They go up the stairs, then a few minutes later our interpreter comes down for us. Our facilitator isn't allowed in with us, but he asked anyway. We were asked to sit down and introduce ourselves to the SDA representative. It has seemed like such a long journey to get this far. It takes a few minutes to absorb what she is telling us, because it needs to be interpreted and also because we are anxious to know what they will tell us. Our facilitator has already told us some things that have added to our emotional state right before we go in. We do understand two words that the SDA representative says. The names of our girls. She has two pieces of paper in her hand. We can only see the back side. She lays the papers down and we immediately recognize both pictures. She tell us the pictures were taken in February of 2006.
Then she finishes the meeting, which may have lasted all of ten minutes, by telling us that BOTH of our girls are available and they will give us our referrals so we can travel to the region tomorrow evening!!!

We know that many, many prayers have been offered up for us and these two girls. We prayed for a miracle and it was given to us!

To GOD be the glory, great things he hath done!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Hello from Kiev!

We're here. We arrived safe and sound yesterday (Monday) afternoon. We were in transit for over 20 hours, so it took us a while yesterday and this morning to recover. When Aerosvit landed, everyone clapped. I was relieved to be back on the ground!

I am posting from an internet cafe in Independence Square. Our appointment is tomorrow, Wednesday, at 12 noon Kiev time; 2am Central time.

Will post more details later.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Last Post this side of the Atlantic

Well, until we return that is.

The day of our departure is finally within 24 hours away. We are leaving around 8am in the morning for the airport. Then we will be in-transit from 10:30am Sunday until around 3:30am Monday (Central time). It's been very difficult for me to figure out all these time differences, but I think I have it now.

The next post will be from Kiev. That is if we find an internet cafe.

Our SDA appointment is on Wednesday, the 12th. Please pray that both girls' files will be there for us.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

SDA Appointment is One Week from TODAY!

It is so hard to believe that the time is almost here. Why does the last week go so much more quickly than all the others?

We leave on Sunday, so we will be in Kiev on Monday, but in exactly one week from today, at the time I am currently writing this post, we will have already finished our SDA appointment. Hopefully, both of the girls' files will be there and we will know when we are to depart for their orphanage.

I'm not necessarily looking forward to the ice and snow, but I am looking forward to seeing firsthand all those beautiful churches and buildings that I've only seen in photographs!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

4 Days Until We Leave!

As you'll see, I've added a recent picture of our family. And yes, I am the shortest one! lol I knew from the moment my children were born, because they were NOT small, that I would end up being the shortest one in the family. (I didn't really want my boys to be shorter than me:)

Yikes! Putting the number into print makes it seem so much shorter! We still have some of today to do things and all day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, except for a few hours on Wednesday when we will be out.

We are almost packed. I have all my clothes and most extra necessary things packed. I do have lots of clothes for both girls, but since our bags are so full (and one person doesn't have theirs done yet) I think I'm going to thin out girl clothes and just take dress clothes for court and two outfits plus, pjs, under things and tights. I do have way too many clothes packed for the girls. We don't need to layer very often here where we live, so I have probably over-done it. I am so used to packing for three kids and believe in always being prepared, so I tend to over-pack. When you have your own car and a big trunk, it's usually not a problem. But, I have been reading blogs where you are hauling your luggage everywhere and running for trains. Not to mention the train cabins are small. One reason I opted for rolling luggage. We can always use a bungie cord and attach the duffles on top to lighten our carrying load.

I have been trying to measure and weigh our luggage to stay within Aerosvit's guidelines. Nataliya gave me some good advice, that both check-in pieces have to weigh no more than 35 pounds each (70 together) and the carry-on no more than 11 lbs. She said a purse doesn't count, but I have a tote bag. I hope that is acceptable. I was never able to get a straight answer from the reservation people about that. Continental on the other hand, allows much more weight and larger pieces.

The closer we are to leaving the more I realize, this is really happening! We started this process last February. It seems like it has taken sooooo long! All the people with dossiers submitted the week before ours are there, right now! I keep checking blogs and reading about homesickness and all. I remember being homesick after my husband and I married. For our honeymoon, we drove further west than I had ever been in my whole life! He was so excited he just wanted to go further and further. I just wanted to tell him to turn back toward home. I don't think I ever mentioned that to him. After that, we just took our family with us, so it was no big deal:)

In reading all the blogs on homesickness, saying goodbye and being away from children, it reminded me of being in the hospital for 2 or 3 days while a child was born and afterwards. An adoption is similar, but oh so very much longer. You just have more time to think about being away.

This trip though, we'll have many firsts. Our first adoption, our first trip out of the country, our first time to even have a passport, our first Christmas away from our home and children. There are some good firsts, though. Our first Christmas with our new daughters, our first time on a train, our first experience meeting all their friends at the orphanage, getting to meet and love on all the kids there.

Maybe if I anticipate the feelings now, they won't hit me like a ton of bricks over there, far away from home.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Mr's note

Most blogs are done by the wife and most husbands know to keep quiet.
Only a few days before blast off. We know when we are leaving and where we are going, but we really don't know how long we will be gone. We also don't know for sure that we will be able to bring both our daughters home. We will not know anything for sure until our appointment with the SDA.

I really did not want to go during the Christmas season, but we have no say. I hate to leave my family at this time of year. Our sons understand. I think they get the big picture.

One thing that amazes me is some people's attitude about international adoption.
We did not decide to adopt outside the US to get a white or beautiful child. I was more interested in Russia or Ukraine because the older children have little chance for adoption and their future's are very possibly bleak. I really don't like justifying what I am doing to people who don't understand.

"He is no fool to give up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose."
A quote by Jim Elliott.