Things were up in the air for a couple of weeks about when the children would definitely be here. In the meantime, we were to go to some meetings telling us all about what we might expect and what was expected of us. We also had a manual to read. I was totally unprepared for all the commitment we would have to make, just to host! It was overwhelming at first. I don't get overwhelmed easily, either. We had never done anything like this before. Every moment of two weeks devoted just to this Camp! Going where ever they said, whenever they said. I was used to being in control of our schedule, somewhat at least. Thankfully, the boys were having a break from their regular weekly classes when the camp happened. Not to mention that we had to pay to be part of this!
The stress just kept building. Someone would come into our home and 'inspect it'?!! What would they be looking for? We were putting ceramic tile down in the front bathroom. The toilet wasn't back in place yet! All the places we would have to be at. All the things we would have to commit to, like making dinner for the caregivers that were coming, when what should be our dining room table was our computer table because we had nowhere else for our computers and printers. Our kitchen table was barely big enough for the four of us living here right now, much less having to find room for 3 more people! What would I fix for dinner? I'm not good at guessing what other people like to eat. I've never cooked anything for someone from another country.
We were able to choose the gender of our host child. We asked for the oldest girl, but we had no idea what she looked like. We didn't know what any of the children looked like. What would our host child look like? Not that it mattered. It's mostly about the unknown. Not knowing what to expect. They end up not looking anything like their pictures, but it's nice to at least have a face to look at. What type of personality would she have? Would she like us? How would she adjust to being here in America, away from all that was familiar? She speaks Russian for goodness sake! How would we communicate? What if she got frustrated with us because we couldn't communicate? The director of the camp, who chose which child went where, had never even seen us. I had only talked to her on the phone a couple of times. How could she match us with a particular child? She did tell us that we were unusual in that we wanted the oldest of the girls. Most host families tell her, the younger the better. This was something so totally unknown to us. Such new territory. Did we really want to do this??!!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Our I-171h Approval Finally Arrived!
I know I haven't actually finished our story, I will, but I had to post this before too many days passed. We received our I-171h on Tuesday, July 17, finally! This has been a very tiresome, trying road for us, but now we can put that behind us. The majority of our dossier is already apostilled, so this is the final piece. I sent this off to our caseworker the same day and our dossier will be headed to Ukraine for translation!!!:)
Now, all we have to do is wait, and pack, and fill out grant applications and finish our required training and.......
Now, all we have to do is wait, and pack, and fill out grant applications and finish our required training and.......
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Why Ukraine? Why not?
My husband found a particular agency that he wanted to use for Russia, several years back, but they were waiting to receive their accreditation back. We called them and they said they would receive it at any time. So, we sent for an application packet. We kept checking the website. No accreditation. About a year later we mailed in the papers. Still no accreditation. My husband called after a few months to ask about their accreditation. They still didn't have it. They were returning people's deposits back to them. We hadn't given them any money, but they had our papers. We hoped they would contact us. They never did.
We had inquired about a couple of other agencies. My husband didn't want to use any other agency but this one that wasn't accredited. During our wait time for this agency's accreditation, we heard about several adoptive families at church. Our church is large and we just never ran into these people to ask them questions. Everyone has such busy lifestyles these days also. We also heard about a hosting program that brought children from Russia. I asked the person who mentioned it. She said she would find out and get back to me. She never did. We waited still. There were few agencies with Russian accreditation then.
We wanted to go with an agency in our state for convenience sake and because we didn't know the first thing about international adoption. I decided to look on the internet for other former Soviet States to see their requirements for adopting. We had heard about Romania years ago, when our second one was a baby. We saw that famous (or infamous?) documentary on TV. It showed people going over there and adopting the babies and children. At that time, it never occurred to us that we could do that. Then again, at that time, we had young children that were keeping us very busy. We looked at Kazhakstan. We even went to a seminar where they told us they wouldn't allow us to adopt a child over eight. They told us that children over eight had more emotional problems. We were really hoping for an older child. So, we knew this agency wasn't for us and kept looking on the internet.
Ukraine became an option, but we just didn't know anyone who had adopted from Ukraine. Also, at the time we were looking, Ukraine was shut down. I mentioned to a friend of mine, who had adopted a brother and sister from Russia who were twelve and thirteen at the time, that we had been considering adoption for several years. She gave me her friend's number, but I never got around to calling. It didn't seem like the right time. One day, the friend who adopted the brother and sister, called me up to tell me of a Day Camp sponsored through her church. They were looking for host families. This Camp, several years before, was how she met her children. Their intention was just to host, then they fell in love with their children. (They are very sweet children and have adjusted very quickly. I would never have guessed they were from Russia unless I was told.) This time the Camp children were coming from Ukraine. My husband was very interested, so I signed us up.
And the first agency? They still don't have their Russian accreditation. We would still be waiting.
We had inquired about a couple of other agencies. My husband didn't want to use any other agency but this one that wasn't accredited. During our wait time for this agency's accreditation, we heard about several adoptive families at church. Our church is large and we just never ran into these people to ask them questions. Everyone has such busy lifestyles these days also. We also heard about a hosting program that brought children from Russia. I asked the person who mentioned it. She said she would find out and get back to me. She never did. We waited still. There were few agencies with Russian accreditation then.
We wanted to go with an agency in our state for convenience sake and because we didn't know the first thing about international adoption. I decided to look on the internet for other former Soviet States to see their requirements for adopting. We had heard about Romania years ago, when our second one was a baby. We saw that famous (or infamous?) documentary on TV. It showed people going over there and adopting the babies and children. At that time, it never occurred to us that we could do that. Then again, at that time, we had young children that were keeping us very busy. We looked at Kazhakstan. We even went to a seminar where they told us they wouldn't allow us to adopt a child over eight. They told us that children over eight had more emotional problems. We were really hoping for an older child. So, we knew this agency wasn't for us and kept looking on the internet.
Ukraine became an option, but we just didn't know anyone who had adopted from Ukraine. Also, at the time we were looking, Ukraine was shut down. I mentioned to a friend of mine, who had adopted a brother and sister from Russia who were twelve and thirteen at the time, that we had been considering adoption for several years. She gave me her friend's number, but I never got around to calling. It didn't seem like the right time. One day, the friend who adopted the brother and sister, called me up to tell me of a Day Camp sponsored through her church. They were looking for host families. This Camp, several years before, was how she met her children. Their intention was just to host, then they fell in love with their children. (They are very sweet children and have adjusted very quickly. I would never have guessed they were from Russia unless I was told.) This time the Camp children were coming from Ukraine. My husband was very interested, so I signed us up.
And the first agency? They still don't have their Russian accreditation. We would still be waiting.
Why adopt?
My husband and I both grew up with adopted family members. I had two cousins who were biological sisters. They were each adopted by two different aunts, who were sisters. My husband's dad raised his step-daughter and step-son just like his own children, but never officially adopted them. They are my husband's half-brother and sister officially, but that is not mentioned. They are his brother and sister.
We also have many friends who have adopted from several different countries as well as domestically. The countries are Russia, Kazhakstan, Romania and China. Several from each country. None from Ukraine. Yet anyway. Plus we have several friends who have adopted domestically. Well, with all the great adopted children we knew, why not adopt?
It was initially my husband who brought this adoption idea up. We had three children and I had always wanted more, but it never happened. When our children were younger, three was enough for him. Now all of a sudden he's changed his mind! I guess this was God's way of giving me those children I had always wanted, by changing my husband's mind. It did take me a while to agree to adopt, I don't know why. Now I wish it hadn't taken me so long, but God knows that I need to think about things for a while. He gives me that time and then he'll say, "Okay, now it's time!"
We also have many friends who have adopted from several different countries as well as domestically. The countries are Russia, Kazhakstan, Romania and China. Several from each country. None from Ukraine. Yet anyway. Plus we have several friends who have adopted domestically. Well, with all the great adopted children we knew, why not adopt?
It was initially my husband who brought this adoption idea up. We had three children and I had always wanted more, but it never happened. When our children were younger, three was enough for him. Now all of a sudden he's changed his mind! I guess this was God's way of giving me those children I had always wanted, by changing my husband's mind. It did take me a while to agree to adopt, I don't know why. Now I wish it hadn't taken me so long, but God knows that I need to think about things for a while. He gives me that time and then he'll say, "Okay, now it's time!"
Sunday, July 8, 2007
About Us
I have been thinking quite a while about starting a blog, and just haven't had time.
So, here it is!
My husband and I have been married for 25 years now.
We have 3 biological children, 23yo daughter, 18yo son and 15yo son.
We have only lived in two houses for all of our married life and we still own the first one. Our children just mostly remember this one we live in right now, even though we lived in the first (little) house when each of them was born and for quite a few years afterwards. It didn't seem quite so little when they were all smaller.
Our daughter is married and her husband is in the army. They live in another state. Our middle child, and oldest son, has just graduated from high school and will be starting college in the fall. Our youngest will be the last one left at home, but, just for a short time, hopefully.
The Lord blessed us with three children, but we've wanted more for several years now. So, we came up with the brilliant idea of adopting! We are in the process of adopting two older girls from Ukraine. Our youngest is 15, so we didn't really want any children that much younger than him.
So, here it is!
My husband and I have been married for 25 years now.
We have 3 biological children, 23yo daughter, 18yo son and 15yo son.
We have only lived in two houses for all of our married life and we still own the first one. Our children just mostly remember this one we live in right now, even though we lived in the first (little) house when each of them was born and for quite a few years afterwards. It didn't seem quite so little when they were all smaller.
Our daughter is married and her husband is in the army. They live in another state. Our middle child, and oldest son, has just graduated from high school and will be starting college in the fall. Our youngest will be the last one left at home, but, just for a short time, hopefully.
The Lord blessed us with three children, but we've wanted more for several years now. So, we came up with the brilliant idea of adopting! We are in the process of adopting two older girls from Ukraine. Our youngest is 15, so we didn't really want any children that much younger than him.
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