Adopting 2 from Ukraine

God is still in the Miracle Business

2010-11-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

I have posted very sporadically since leaving Ukraine close to fifteen months ago. Things are just very busy. We have two boys in college, our daughter and grandbaby are in and out staying with us sometimes and her in-laws sometimes because her husband is in Iraq. Then there are our two Ukrainians who keep us very busy;)

Our heart is always in Ukraine and the adoptions that occur there. Occasionally I try to follow blogs to see what's going on. In the past few weeks I have been in touch with three families in various stages of the adoption process. One family lives close to us and is leaving on Friday. One family is in Ukraine waiting for court to be scheduled. This family is adopting one of our daughters' friends. How we found out could only be orchestrated by God.

I am on a Yahoo group for families who have adopted older Ukrainian children. A woman posted that she was going to Ukraine soon and listed her blog. I was curious and looked at it. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a girl that was one of our girls' friends! I immediately emailed the woman and told her. This started a friendship between two families who have only met by email. This girl is 15 and will age out after the school year ends. What's even greater is that she has a brother, so two children will have a home!

When we left Ukraine we took down names and birthdays of several of our girls' friends in case anyone just came out and asked us if we knew any girls in Ukraine. Now, we knew one that would have a family. Through this family, we met another family that hosted another of our daughters' friends and plans to adopt. Two down!:)

This is the biggest miracle -- Our friends that are there now were contacted by another couple who has been in the same region for six weeks. They are in their ten day wait period. They told their new friends to contact us. We were thrilled to learn that two sisters who have been very good friends with our daughters now have a home. Four down:)

We spent about four months total time in about a year and a half in Ukraine adopting two girls we met through a host program. Our resources were depleted after completing our second adoption. Our second daughter has some severe issues and takes a lot of our time. We still remembered all the children we left behind, but the girls who we knew would age out and more than likely live on the streets were the one who tugged at our hearts the most. We knew that there was no way we could go back for any of them. We needed a bigger house among other things plus our 'troubled' daughter would just cause more problems if we brought any new children into our home. All we knew to do was to pray. We prayed that these girls would find homes even though we knew their chances were slim to none. I am so thankful that God knew different! He was working in the hearts of other people all along. Not only did he work in their hearts, but He allowed us to know about it!:) I am so grateful that we can keep in touch with these girls even after they come home to America. We left Ukraine thinking we would never see them again.

There is still one left waiting on her family to arrive. Please pray that the timing is perfect since she will age out in just a few months.

Please pray for the family who lives close to us and leaves Friday. They are adopting a 15yo boy, but are leaving the choice of two sisters in God's hands.

Hope

2010-11-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, T has improved. If I look back on it, I'd have to say drastically. It hasn't been without a whole lot of work, though. K, our first one took some work to help her get to where she is after two and a half years, but that work was nothing compared to what we've had to do with T. She turned our house upside down for a while. We realized that she was just living out of that survival part of her brain. Apparently, her home life was chaotic, to say the least and she was trying to make our house the same way. When you have a child with severe issues, you can't treat them like a child who has grown up with a loving parent to care for them. I'm pretty sure that T has never had anyone care for her in her home. She's talked of her grandfather putting her out in the snow in only her underwear when she was very small and how she and her mother ate out of the garbage can. She was telling us just the other night that she said she didn't want to live with her mother and that's why they put her in the orphanage. In other words, it was her fault. We know that's not true and told her so. She was put in the orphanage because her mother was neglectful. It doesn't take much for the authorities to find out that a child is being neglected.

The hardest part for me is to let go of the expectations that a child will love you if you love and care for them. It doesn't work that way with a broken and/or disturbed child. They have never had anyone put them first and care for their needs, so they decide the only person they can trust is themselves. If they let someone be in charge of them, then they're doomed. They think that they will die. The problem is that a child can't really take care of themselves. They NEED someone to take care of them.

I've had to let go of the hurt that T has inflicted on me because of her behavior. She has tried to hurt everyone in our house. If she knows she can say something to hurt you or make you mad, then she will do it. If she can get someone to react, then she feels 'in control'. It seems her life is all about playing games. A strange way to live your life.

I think that we finally have gotten through to her some. What we have to do is NOT react to her. This reaction leaves her not knowing what to do.

This change did not happen overnight. We went through some terribly stormy days. Days that should have been happy, were extremely sad. I wish I knew why children want to keep turmoil in their lives when that's all they've known and in their new home, things don't have to be that way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that things felt hopeless a few months ago. I felt like I was in survival mode. My whole family was being traumatized by this child that I willingly brought into our home. Now that we are past the worst, I can see some progress. There is some hope.

Improvements

2010-10-25T00:40:00.000-07:00

I have not checked my wife's blog in months. T has improved. She has improved dramatically. Months ago when we were in the middle of a wrestling match, I felt there was little hope for this child and she would have been better off left where she was. WRONG. We have learned that force, spanking or yelling is not an option. All I had to do in the past was give my kids the "look" and they would behave. I have treated my 14, soon to be 15, year old daughter as a four year old since then. When she gets no response from us, she will stop her bad behavior. Now that we can understand each other, I have been able to talk her out of having a full blown spell.
When I say spell, I mean this dialogue. "I hate you- I want to go back to the orphanage." And my all time favorite. "Fine, You want spankey T, Fine, Want spankey.
Her English is still very broken and she is forgetting Russian.

She responds to the promise of us always loving her and always being her Mama and Papa. It's now Mom and Dad. Even in those troubled months, she still called me Dad. I knew little Miss T would be a problem long before we adopted her. She surprised me with just how much a problem she could be, and she surprises me on how much progress she has made.

Reality

2010-06-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

The picture is of our 8 month old granddaughter with her daddy, who is overseas right now.

It's been a very long time since I've posted. These have been very difficult days. Our newest daughter, T, has been very trying. She drains most of my energy some days. T has FASD and RAD and maybe even some other things. To look at her, you'd think she's the sweetest, happiest, most loving child. We've been told that. She's a happy girl, many have told us. BUT, they don't have to live with her! Yes, she's little and has an infectious smile, but it's all fake. She's not happy. She's a miserable soul. She HATES being told what to do. That is classic RAD. As a child, she apparently was never taken care of. How a baby can be in a house and not be held or fed regularly, I'll never know. After being neglected, a child just gives up. I've heard that baby orphanages overseas are eerily quiet.

We have an 8 month old granddaughter who is anything but quiet. In fact, her mother thinks she is very demanding. I tell her over and over, she's normal. Our granddaughter knows she is loved. She thinks everyone loves her! LOL She is such a joy to have around. She brightens my day. She instantly knew that I would help her if she needed anything. I don't know if she remembers when I was around her first four days of life or just has that sense of who cares. I've always thought babies had that extra sense. Our oldest daughter has told me that she remembers the lullaby I used to hum to her as a baby. Our middle son says it's his 'default' song. lol

Comparing my biological children and my granddaughter to my two adopted ones, helps me to see how much the adopted children have missed. K has said many times that she wished we had adopted her as a very young child. Sometimes, she makes up her own memories of when she was younger and I was her mother. She wants to erase her past.

T on the other hand, denies her past. She longs for the orphanage and Ukraine. Everyone loved her and she loved them. I know that she did not really love her mother or vice versa because of how rude she is to me. RAD children treat their adoptive parents like their own parents treated them, which isn't fair at all. Whenever T shows any kind of affection, she is just mimicking what she thinks she should do or what she has seen others do. She hugs me very hard. So hard, it almost hurts, which is an oxymoron. A hug that hurts. There should not be such a thing.

It has been very difficult for me to come to a place where I acknowledge that her affection and words are not truly sincere. We've realized that she lies and sneaks. She gets extremely upset if you tell her she's doing her math wrong. She HATES to be told she's wrong. She doesn't take personal responsibility for the things she does, but on the other hand blames herself for being taken to the orphanage. As a five year old, she was somewhere she shouldn't have been. So that's her fault, not her drunken mother who sent her out at 2 or 3 in the morning to buy vodka for her.

She doesn't tell us much about her past since she wants to deny that it was bad, but she did tell us she had a dream about someone molesting her. She did say that her dad and I were looking for her, wondering where she was. I think it was a dream about a memory. At least she has a sense that we do want to keep her safe, though that realization and knowing it for sure may be another few years down the road.

Children like T are very difficult to deal with. They don't understand cause and effect, reward and punishment/discipline. If we take anything away, we are just being mean to her. She does not acknowledge a punishment as an incentive to act better. On top of everything, she tries to manipulate everyone, especially K. I'm trying to get K to understand and I think she does to some extent. K is very bright. We just have to get beyond her past, too.

I do have a book I'm reading called 'Help for the Hopeless Child'. A friend loaned it to me. So far, we have already been doing many of the things it suggests, so hopefully we are on the right track.

New Family Member

2009-10-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

This post isn't about adoption, it's about family which is what an adoption is all about.

Here is the newest member of our family -- Our first granddaughter:)

From Lily

Summer 2009 -- Ukraine

2009-10-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

(Double click to make the images larger)

Memories

2009-09-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight I watched a little girl playing with stickers and found myself thinking back. One day I bought as many little notebooks and stickers I could find and took them to the kids at the orphanage. There was one little boy who got upset a little and I sat there and watched him pull stickers and stick them in his notebook, while he sniffed and wiped his eyes. It was something special to him. He wanted my approval on what he had done. His name was Losha, but I called him my Tic Tac buddy, because I took him Tic Tacs every day until I began to worry about his teeth. I thought how bad this boy needs someone to care about him.
On my wall in my bedroom I have an 8x10 picture of my closest friend there, Tonya and her little brother, Aundrey. Tonya will age out of the system very soon and she is in my prayers daily. I also have a picture of my girl, Nastia. This picture was taken with a cheap camera one of the kids gave me to develop pictures. She is laying on her cot and you can see the loneliness and despair of this child. Those of you who have been there know from experience.

Papa Dennis

No More Walls

2009-09-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have known Tamara for almost three years now. We hosted her twice and have spent time with her at the orphanage. She has never let me be close to her. I have gotten a lot of rejection and had decided to just accept her as she is. Well, last Saturday the girls went to a birthday party for one of the adoptive children in Houston here. On the way home Toma decided to have one of her pity parties. We have always accepted it, but she has been one of the family for almost two months now, so June did what a mother usually does, and fussed at her. When I got home, Toma described what had happened. It was cute. I believe June disciplining her made her feel more a part of the family. It seems to have broken down the last wall separating Toma and her Papa. She has been more a part of the family and more receptive to her Papa. This is a Toma I have never met. We have had some concerns about attachment issues, but it seems things are going better. I have a friend who died several years ago. When you would ask him how he was doing, his reply was always, "Better and better".

Today June visited with a family who is leaving for Ukraine soon. She gave them the phone we used on our trip. There are so many memories and friends that come to mind. We called Ukraine the other morning and talked to a dear friend we made while there, Brother Vacili. In a way I wish we were going back. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of the people there.

Another Papa Post

2009-09-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am having to get used to the new affectionate Toma. We all went to Wall-Mart tonight and Miss Toma insisted on walking with me holding hands. Karina was affectionate with me from day one, but Toma has pretty much, until just recently, given me the universal--"talk to the hand." I never expected her to pursue my affection. I don't know how to be affectionate to Toma. I can tell she is trying, and best of all I can see she is more relaxed and happy. Of course making your sister jealous is fun also. Toma is less dependent on Karina for everything, and there is a little more time for Mama and Papa.

Papa Dennis

Settling In

2009-08-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

I think Toma and I are getting used to each other. Sometimes she will lean on me, the way kids do, but it tells me she is accepting me and her new family. I look at her and see a teenage girl. She has grown so much since we first met her back in 2007.
Toma's glasses will be here next week. I saw the Doc at work and he stressed how bad her astigmatism was. She is almost fourteen and has never worn glasses, even as bad as her eyesight is. You can't learn if you can't see.

Papa Dennis

Three Weeks Home.

2009-08-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

I noticed June has not made a post. Things are progressing better than I had hoped for. Little by little, Toma is becoming part of the family and is even growing closer to her Papa. I bought a car from Midland County, and took an overnight trip to pick it up. When I got home, I could tell she had actually missed me. Y E S! A good thing. Today we took a drive in our old, new car and had lunch specials at the Mexican Restaurant. Miss Karina has not reached two years with us yet. She too is still adjusting and beginning to understand that she does not control the universe. Besides, that job has been taken for years by my first born daughter.

17 Days Home

2009-08-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

It has been over two weeks now. Last night I think we had a breakthrough with our new daughter, Tamara. She has not been completely happy and we believe she has been testing us. A few days ago during her late night anxiety time, she said she wasn't my daughter and I wasn't her father. She also wanted to go back to the orphanage. Not exactly what you want to hear. Karina was so much easier for me. Toma has never been close to me at all. I get a corporate hug when I get home from work and that is it.
Last night we had a slight confrontation and later she came to me and hugged me and told me she was sorry, and she loved me. It wasn't the corporate hug I am used to and consider it a milestone. Today she seems to be more relaxed. I think maybe she is starting to trust us just a little. How can this little girl believe that this new family is forever, when all she has ever known is abandonment and disappointment? She is making progress.

Papa

Day 3 at Home

2009-07-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

It is absolutely weird how much Tamara and June are alike. They look alike and that is only the beginning. I don't want to get in trouble, so I will stop there. I took the girls to the community pool yesterday. That is the most fun thing in the world and a must for a new sister. I tried to enjoy the moment and have been trying to become an American again. You try to focus on the here and now, but find your thoughts wandering to where you were and who you left behind. Our friend Rhonda is still in S-town and has had a hard time with her adoption.
I learned today that the fifteen year old girl I befriended has had a disturbing past. When I offered my phone that day to call her mother, I wondered why she didn't want to. When my dear friend was younger, her mother prostituted her to boyfriends. One thing that made me feel better about TA was that she had a mother. I left thinking TA and her brother would age out of the system and live with mama. I don't think that she and her younger brother have much of a chance for adoption. The other girls consider her mean and have nothing to do with her. That is the reason she became my friend. The last day we visited the orphanage, I gave her self addressed, stamped envelopes, so she could write us. I hope she knows there is someone who cares.
Papa Dennis

Doma

2009-07-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

It was a traumatic experience flying home from Ukraine. Delta and JFK airport in New York tried to kill us. Today I woke to find that little has changed. It will take a while to recover from seven weeks in Ukraine. We have the experience of living in a foreign country and becoming comfortable with the way of life there. I did enjoy living in that smaller town where almost everyone is your equal. Most people do not own a car and are comfortable riding the very reliable bus system. That is what we did most of the time. We joined the foot traffic on the sidewalks or jumped on one of the buses. In the summer there are outdoor bars everywhere. That is the thing you notice first. So many people are carrying beer everywhere you go, even if it is nine in the morning. I did see some abuse, but we did live behind one of the local outdoor bars.

I met a Brother I did not know I had. He worked security where we stayed. Our apartment was part of a larger store, loading dock, disco, restaurant, and beer tent/bar. He invited us to tea at his house and we went to church with him and his family. I will miss my friend, Vacili.

Today is quiet here. Someone wants to ride bicycles, but I have to recover from the trip. I can tell she is trying. I waited until we were completely through customs in New York before I told her firmly that she doesn't tell me, "I don't want to." That was her favorite thing to say to me. I wasn't mean and she understood, but I did get the LOOK that teenage girls are good at. I think she is beginning to understand that we do care about her. It seems the less I try, the closer she lets herself get to her new dad.

Papa Dennis

Home

2009-07-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

Home is such a wonderful word. It carries much more meaning than just those four letters. I have never been so glad to be home! Ukraine is an experience that we will never forget, but NO place is better than home:)

In Kiev (Again:)

2009-07-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been so busy, I can't even recall everything we did right now. We did get the next day passport, barely. We did get the train tickets, barely. We did make it to the Embassy today, barely. We did get Tamara to the medical center, barely. We do get the visa tomorrow (Friday) at two o'clock and fly out Saturday morning! YYAAAYYY!! We are so ready to be home. Then again, it was so hard leaving the kids behind.

Saturday -- 3; Sunday -- 2

2009-07-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know. It's getting boring now. All we can do is visit the orphanage and wait. Tomorrow will be our last visit to the orphanage except for Tuesday when we get our daughter out for good!

I liked the cabbage rolls so much at the little cafe that I tried some from the grocery store deli. They weren't as good since they were filled with rice instead of meat. Now I know to ask for the ones filled with ground meat.

Can't wait to have our busy days starting on Tuesday!:)

Friday -- 4

2009-07-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

The countdown is still on. Yes, S, I know you're counting with me;)

Got passport pictures today. I finally was able to try to cabbage rolls at a little cafe today.

Thursday -- 5

2009-07-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

We're more than halfway through with the waiting period!! YAY!!

I guess today was a boring day. Went to the orphanage by bus. No detours;) Ate lunch, went home. Now, I'm at the internet. When I'm through we'll have to talk about what to have for supper.

I'm finding that my two years of typing I took in high school are paying off quite a bit here, especially today. The letters on the keyboard I'm using are totally gone:0

Tuesday -- 7; Wednesday -- 6

2009-07-15T09:10:00.001-07:00

It is so hard to believe that the days are passing so quickly now!

We had a scenic bus tour of our town today. In other words, we got on the wrong bus:o Dennis and I were just sitting there knowing we would end up in the downtown area or 'the kamens' (commons) as they call it here, but Karina was actually panicked. Yesterday, we took 101a home instead of 101. It took a small jag off the usual straight track home, so Dennis thought it would be okay to ride into town. Normally, 101 takes us straight down the road, turns the corner in the commons area, then we get off to wait for the second bus or marshrutka. When Dennis saw 101a, he thought it would take that same little jag and cut back over. Well, it didn't. It went down another parallel street, past the big downtown market, then it kept going. We've figured out that the bus that goes on the orphanage street, just makes a big circle and comes by our usual stop every hour. We thought this bus would do the the same. It does, but takes a much, much larger circle. We got to see the very opposite edge of town from where we are staying. When all the passengers had gotten off, we were the last three on. The bus driver opened the door, looked back at us like, 'aren't you getting off?' The guy taking the money asked something in Russian. He asked Karina where we got on at. That really didn't matter, it was where we needed to go that was more important. Come to find out, they stopped at this stop for about 10 minutes, then they were going back to town. Karina was very panicked when they were talking to her. She tends to add things that we don't tell her or guess what needs to be told to them on her own without asking us. She has also left out things people tell us. She really is very good at going back and forth between English and Russian especially considering she has only been home with us a year, but she is still a child and doesn't think at all like an adult. The guys ended up being okay with us staying on, but we had to pay again. We were happy to pay. Twenty six cents apiece for a tour of the town isn't bad at all!;)

Monday -- Day 8

2009-07-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

The countdown is still on!

The kids left for 'moray', the ocean or Black Sea today. I believe they are going to be gone for a month. It was a happy occasion, but sad for us and some of our little friends who knew we wouldn't see them and they wouldn't see us again. We had a couple of our little friends follow us to the bus stop. Hugs were given all around when the marshrutka came. It will be very quiet at the orphanage when we visit tomorrow. There will only be our daughter, another girl who has court with her new adoptive parents on Wednesday and a handful of the 8 class. We've been told there wasn't enough money for tickets for the older class, so they will go on a trip after the other children get back. Of course, this may not be exactly the whole truth. Sometimes we only get portions of it at a time.

We've become pretty proficient at riding the bus around here. We've been riding either the bus or marshrutka, whichever comes first and has room, home from the orphanage for a few weeks now. Not every day at first, but just about every day last week. We have learned that the bus comes at 1pm, which is the perfect time for us and it is usually almost empty. All the marshrutkas tend to be full. The bus is cheaper by 25kopecs, but people seem to prefer the marshrutkas. I don't know why. They don't hold as many people. I've seen a marshrutka filled to the brim with people standing up.

Today was the first day we rode the bus to the orphanage. It went smoothly. We have been watching the route numbers and have the routes we need figured out. We take one route number to and from the orphanage and another number down from a certain stop down to our apartment. We have to cross the street to take the second bus. The only problem we have is that the route to our apartment is extremely busy. All the buses and marshrutkas are very full. We usually watch 5 or 6 route 101 vehicles pass by before we find one that has some seats. We were very blessed all the way around to find seats in all four of the vehicles we took. Sometimes we have to stand on the bus to the apartment.

I want to put something else in before I forget. Outside cafes are very popular here in the summer. We didn't see any in the winter and they seem to put them any place they can fit. One area looked a little more permanent, but there are no tables in the winter. One good thing is that the disco areas are outside under the tent. No more vibrating walls in our apartment:0 You can still hear the music until about 11pm, but apparently we've gotten used to it. The more permanent area I mentioned earlier, serves food. A limited menu, but we can get 'boot-ir-brahts', salads, drink, etc. We eat lunch there frequently. They serve you a glass with your bottled drink. We were sitting there one day, when Karina told us her glass broke. Come to find out, she had the side in her mouth and bit on it! It's a wonder she didn't cut her mouth all up. We had to pay eight greevna for the glass. I told her she wouldn't get her daily ice cream because the money went for the glass she broke. She is having just a little regression behavior wise because of being around all the kids at the orphanage. We are hoping she will get better now that only a few children will be there.

The Countdown has Officially Started!

2009-07-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday - 10; Sunday - 9

It doesn't seem possible that we are finally to the last days before going home. Court was exactly one month after our SDA appointment. It didn't seem like our court appearance lasted as long as the first one. They didn't ask us near as many questions as when we adopted Karina, but they asked Tamara a lot of questions. Probably because she told us 'no' the first time. She did very well, though. She calmly answered the questions and it was obvious that she definitely wanted to come with us this time. Of course that made us feel good. The prosecutor said that she was satisfied that our decision to adopt Tamara was well thought out because we came back to adopt her. It probably helped that we met her two years ago and still kept in contact. I'm really glad she didn't ask us a lot of questions. She seemed very stern the first time, but was much more relaxed this time. The thought crossed my mind that we might be turned down to adopt Karina because of all the questions. I'm sure it helped Tamara make her decision when she visited us at Christmas and saw that she would keep in touch with several of her friends that have been adopted. We keep in touch regularly with two of their friends. We go to their birthday parties and vice versa. The others, we see as much as possible, but they live so far away and we all have such busy lives. I've heard that all Tamara's friends are all excited that she is coming to America. We'll have to have a big reunion with them again!

As for us, it looks like we will visit the orphanage every day until Tuesday, July 21. Yes, I have already counted the days. It works out perfectly because one of the offices we need to go to is closed on Mondays. So, first thing Tuesday morning, the judge has already informed her assistant that she is to have our court decree ready for us. We will then go to the birth certificate office here in the same town, then after that, we will go the the passport office, still in the same town. We have learned that they have some of the old passport forms here in this region, so we have decided to pay the fee to have the one day passport. Tamara has a passport already and the director says she has it. We had trouble with Karina's passport because the director lost her passport. The director had to go to the police office and file a stolen passport report. I think that took a couple of days. Then, later we learned that they lost either all or some of Karina's paperwork. We don't want to wait a month like we did for Karina's passport. We are ready to go home. Please pray that all goes smoothly and quickly and we are flying out of Kiev at the end of that week.

PS - For those who know her, we met K's mom today at the bus stop. We rode on the same marshrutka. We were very pleased to meet her and glad that she is trying everything she can to get all her rights re-established. We feel that K will have somewhere to live once she ages out. K's brother rode the marshrutka with his mom. He looked good. He had on much better clothes than any of the orphans wear.

Court a Success!

2009-07-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

We had our court appearance today. The judge did us a favor and had the two appearances in one day. We now have a new member of our family, Tamara Gabriella:) She picked out her middle name after an actress in High School Musical. That was okay with us. Made it easier. I wish I could post pictures, but that will have to wait until we get home.

Our actual court time was about 45 minutes or so. Then we stayed afterwards while the judge served champagne, chocolates, candy and cookies. (Yes, we had the same judge Nat, though her hair is shorter.)

Tamara was unwavering in saying that she wanted us to adopt her. We tried to adopt her a year and a half ago when we adopted Karina, but she believed her aunt when she was told the aunt would adopt her. Since she turns 14 this year, and learned that we still wanted to adopt her, she decided to come with us. She had her mind made up when she visited our house last Christmas.

We did find something else out. Her mother died. We are assuming the mom died after we were here last. Tamara told Karina last Christmas that her Grandmother had died, but we knew nothing about the mother. So, she is truly an orphan, though she was put in the orphanage as a social orphan. No knowledge of the dad.

I guess we didn't want to relax until court was over because we had been rejected once. Now it is official, to an extent. The aunt still lives in this town, so there is a possibility that she might try to do something, though she has no rights. Please pray that doesn't happen.

PS - Even though most of the children are leaving for camp on Monday, Tamara and another girl, who is being adopted next week, are staying with a caregiver until they can officially leave with their new parents.

Two Days until Court

2009-07-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

It's getting closer!:) Court is now the day after tomorrow! Tomorrow, I will take an outfit along with shoes to T. She was so excited when I told her that as we were leaving today.

Today, we brought all the hair things we brought for the girls. We also bought sheets of stickers to give out that were only a greevna a piece (about 15cents or less) Of course, we didn't have enough. I tried to get the point across that the boys got the stickers and the girls got hair things, but it was useless. We only found a few sheets of car stickers and that's what all the boys wanted. When we got back this afternoon, Dennis and Karina went looking for more stickers.

We saw the kids going to the school building with their bags getting clothes for camp. I think some must have gotten the clothes we brought because I found a sticker from a shirt on the ground. We were told yesterday that all the children got a new pair of shoes for camp, but they were saving them and wearing their old, torn shoes right now. They all were thanking T and us for bringing them. They've told us that they will be leaving on Monday for camp at the Black Sea. The Assistant Director said we should join them. We'd rather go home. All four of us.

4 days until Court!

2009-07-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

We're down to court being four days away! It was a long drawn out time getting here. What I'm going to say may be the bad side of orphanage life that many don't see. Maybe we saw it more because we've been here before and we already knew the kids somewhat plus we have someone with us who has lived with these same children and understands Russian and English. We hosted T twice. Last Christmas and two years ago just after Christmas. When T returned after the last visit, she was invited to 'room' with the girls in the 8 class. T was only in the 6 class. It was because she had things that the other girls didn't have from America. We could see when we first came that there were a lot of 'games' being played. Things were said about me. Lots of things were said about Karina and other girls in the orphanage. I could tell, even though I didn't understand what they were saying that the big girls were sticking their noses in our business. It finally built up to making Karina cry one day. Just after that, we learned that one teacher had come back from her vacation and made T move out of the big girls' room. It made such a difference. We were already under a lot of stress with having to stay here so long and other things that had happened at home. We needed God to intervene and he did!

We finally found a skirt for T to wear to court. It is so very hard to find clothes for girls over ten and under adult age. The skirt we bought was probably an adult skirt, but with how short they wear them and how skinny the ones are that wear the short skirts, it should fit her fine. She's very hard to fit in jeans because she's just a little chunky, but very short for a 13 year old. She'll love this skirt. It has a big fancy belt buckle on it. We also bought some pink sandals for her. Pink is her favorite color. I had shirts and shorts that I brought her, so we were covered there.

The rest of the kids are leaving for camp on Sunday or Monday. They will be going to the Black Sea, but I don't know where. A few teachers are staying at the orphanage with the children who have parents until those parents can pick them up. I guess the shorter camp was cheaper or they found a sponsor. We are hoping that T can just go ahead and stay with us during the 10 day. We'll just have to wait and see.

4th of July

2009-07-04T05:14:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the 4th of July, but you sure can't tell it in Ukraine. I'm sure we won't see any fireworks tonight. They don't even have watermelons here! I love watermelon, but I never thought I would miss it or the fireworks so much. It's amazing how you can take those little things for granted until you don't have them.

One Week Until Court!

2009-07-03T08:15:00.001-07:00

Our court date is one week from today. We thought it would never come, but now it is almost upon us.

We don't do very exciting things. We visit the orphanage every day in the morning. We have gone shopping at the large market a few times looking for shoes and used clothing for the kids. Shoes are fairly cheap, but also not great quality. Someone gave us some money to buy things for the kids, so we are trying to spend it up. We can buy a lot with it. We also brought a good bit of donations with us as well. Now that we've donated all the shoes and clothing that I had collected, we're down to all our belongings fitting into one large suitcase. We brought three large suitcases, two duffels and Karina had a backpack. We were so glad to get rid of our load. We've bought over 60 pairs of shoes and I don't know how many shorts, skirts and shirts for around $300.

The kids really need the shoes and clothes. Most of the boys' shoes barely cover their feet. some of the boys have no shoe under their toes. The little boys wear thick underwear as shorts. Some have holes in their shirts.

One thing they do have to look forward to is three above ground pools of various sizes. The kids have the pools for something to do since there wasn't enough money to send them to camp this summer. About 10-12 kids get in the big pool for maybe five minutes at a time. They can't do much with that many children in the pool. But they have fun anyway. Many times when it's not swimming time, an adult caregiver will have to come and fuss at a couple of kids that have gotten in the pool without permission. Can you tell I sit on a bench for about 3 hours and watch what goes on?;) After a while, you just have to learn to relax here and just enjoy your stay.

Well, that's pretty much how we spend our time at the orphanage. The other part of the day, we find places to walk. Today, we rode the marshrutka from the orphanage into town. We ate at our little pelemini cafe again. This time, we had just pelmini instead of fancy pelmini soup with mushrooms, dill and sour cream. It was good and cheap! The three of us ate for 31 greevna, with drinks. That's a little over $4 total.

Amusement Ukrainian Style

2009-06-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Today, we skipped going to the orphanage to go to the only park in town. In winter and even in Spring, it is pretty much empty, but this time of year, it seems like everyone in town is at this park! There are several rides, cars to drive (like bumper cars, but they don't let you bump each other)and those big balloon jumping things. This is our third time to go. Karina always wants to go to the jumping things. I think she has a goal of trying to talk us into so many rides each time we go. Last time, just Dennis and Karina rode the ferris wheel. This time, I rode it. I realized it was going so slow that I agreed to go this time. The only scary part was that it takes you so high and the wind was very strong. Sometimes the wind blows so hard you'd think you were on the Gulf.

We usually get cotton candy because it is only 5 greevna, but this time we ate. They served the same food that we had eaten at the restaurant in the same complex. (There is a disco, hotel, restaurant, outside restaurant that serves shish-kabobs and this other outside eatery in the same park) Other than the cushy seats, the food was the same as served in the restaurant, but cheaper. The three of us ate for around $7! We ate 'kutlyeta Kyivskee', 'kartoful free'(aka - french fries) and 'Gryeshkee salat' plus a bottled drink apiece.

We've also found a little outside cafe right in the complex where we are staying. We've eaten lunch there twice. The three of us have gotten a 'bootirbradt', 'salat' and drinks for a little over $5.

We did also buy a one burner hot plate and deep skillet with a lid, so we can cook sometimes. The other day, when we took our long 3 hour walk, we did stop at the bank and a little cafe for pelemini soup. It was very good, but also very hot! It was served with dill, mushrooms, sour cream and of course, pelemini. It was a little more expensive than our other places. It was more like $10 for all of us to eat. With my new hot plate, I cooked pelemini for a $1 for enough for all of us to get full:) It was really good, too!

We have so many more options now that we have the hot plate and the new places we've found to eat. We'll have to find places to walk, though, so I won't gain weight from all the good food!

Waiting

2009-06-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Today we visited T as usual. After, we decided not to call a taxi, but walk a little bit towards town. We walked all the way back to the apartment. It was my idea to keep going. We stopped and ate lunch at a bar/restaraunt Karina suggested.
The food was good, but I think it makes a better bar than a restaraunt.

At the city park, there were taxis there. No! Not when we are so close. Well, within a mile and a half anyway. I looked at it as an adventure. The girls didn't agree with that, something about needing the bath room. We left the orphanage at 1:30 and it was well after 4:00 when we got to the apartment. Maybe I am just a little crazy, but I'm not dangerous. It was fun.

Every day T seems to accept me just a little more. I am relieved to see a little progress. I hug her and give her a kiss on top of the head. I told her today that I would always do that, and she gave me a smile.

Papa

We Have Our Court Date

2009-06-24T10:22:00.001-07:00

Boys and girls. Take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Our court date is July 10th. We had planned to go home after receiving such good news.This morning we looked at air fare. We did some math and decided to go home for almost two weeks. Anyone who has been here knows nothing is simple. We have train tickets to Kiev. Air was faster, but not available. We find out our travel agent who gets us the good deals is on vacation. The "good" judge is on vacation also. That is why we have a July 10th court date. So, back to the internet to find round trip tickets. That would have been a simple task if we could charge a minimum of 3,800 for plane tickets. With the cost of air fare and the amount of time we would be home, we have decided to stay in beautiful S-town.
We bought our facilitator a fair well City Pizza dinner and sent him home tonight.June says she isn't upset over the last two days, but Papa knows better. I'm going to buy minutes for the phone and stop off at the beer tent before heading home.

Papa

Holding Pattern

2009-06-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

Right now, we are just waiting until Tuesday when our facilitator gets back. We are supposed to find out when court will be. We already know it won't be before the first part of July. We just visit the orphanage every day from 10am until 1pm. The rest of the day, we just try to find things to keep us busy. One day doesn't seem any different from the rest.

At the orphanage, I usually just sit on a bench outside watching the kids. I've started eating sunflower seeds for something to do to pass the time. The packages are cheap and we can share them with the kids. Dennis walks to the closest little store every visit. We see pretty much the same children every day. Many of the children are part of sibling groups of at least four or more. One little girl who we thought had two younger sisters, really has three. She always says 'hi' to me and has given me pictures that she's drawn. It's sad to think that all these children want a family so bad, but there are not many people willing to take on large sibling groups. Until the year we adopted, not many children had been adopted from this orphanage. All the children we are seeing now have no family to stay with during the summer. It is a smaller group than what is usually here during the rest of the year. What will happen to them when they age out? Where will they go? It's hard not to think about that when we see them every day.

A Post From Papa

2009-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

It is hard for me to take what I feel and put it in print. We visit the orphanage every day. T and K talk and play. I do not relate well with T. Yesterday and today T gave me a hug. That is progress.
The weather is nice. I sit outside and talk and smile at the kids. My new friend's name starts with a T also, so I will call her TF. As June said there is another couple that came today to adopt a teenage girl. TF had a little break down and cried. She can speek some English and I got her to tell me that she misses her mother. I suppose her seeing T and L getting adoptive families is hard for her. After the tears, she told me that maybe a coke from the little store nearby would help. The orphanage is more in the country and the walk to the store is relaxing. There are cherry trees along the road with cherries turning red. Something I have never seen. It is beautiful to me.
Today the kids were filling a swimming pool. They brought out the fire hose to fill the pool. Now I know why there is no water in the apartment. I watched them drink that dirty water comming out of the hose and thought what it would do to me.

If I could stop time and stay here for twenty years, I think I would. Like the movie "Harvey". I could stay for a while and return without a second of time passing. But reality is only a phone call away. My sons were out and had car trouble with the family car. I was proud of my sons repairing the car and taking care of their dad from half a world away. Ha-rah-shoh sim-yah.

I have said that I feel closer to God when I am here. This second trip makes me realize that He is always there, I just need His strength more when I am here.

Papa Dennis

Differences

2009-06-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

The first time we were here, it was freezing. Temperatures got down to minus 10 and 11 Fahrenheit. Both of us have always lived on the Gulf Coast, so this was a shock to us! It rarely snows where we live, much less gets under freezing.

This visit is very different. There are actually green plants everywhere. We saw gardens in almost every open space near homes along the train tracks. People are planting flowers everywhere. There were a couple of hot, humid days here, but since the rain a couple of days ago, it has been cool. One night it was even cool enough for a jacket. That never happens at home during the summer!

T looks forward to visiting with us every day. There were a couple of days she didn't want to hug Papa, but we found out that the kids tease her. Today, though, as we were all getting into the taxi, she asked Papa for a hug. We also found out that one of the teachers was giving her a hard time for staying with us instead of eating.

There is another girl here getting adopted by a couple who live in our state. We will probably keep in touch with them. She and T are singing buddies.

Another thing I've noticed that is different from what many adoptive parents have said is that the women here wear every color imaginable. I like wearing capris in the summer and I have seen many wear them here. Though, they are much tighter than I would wear mine! Shoes are bright colors as well and they don't necessarily match the clothes, but they do have to match the purse. lol I've also seen striped shirts with print pants. Combinations I wouldn't put together. Also, the brighter the colors, the better. Summer dress is the opposite of winter dress.

Trying to Establish a Routine

2009-06-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

We are finally getting our bearings around here. At first it seemed like it took forever to do anything. Finding food is a major undertaking. There are many, many places to buy food, but they all carry something different. We like Coke Light. Only a few places have it. We DON'T like bologna, but we try to find the best quality and will eat it in pinch. All places have bologna. lol Chicken is our first choice, but you can't find chicken lunch meat. We can buy a whole rotisserie chicken at a little place called the 'Chicken Grille' That is all they sell. The chicken is very good. We can also buy chicken kabobs at the supermarket, but three kabobs are almost as much as a whole chicken. Our next choice of meat is ham or 'veecheenah'. The quality of that varies. It isn't really any more expensive than the salami or 'kielbasa' you find everywhere here. We can find lots to eat, but all of it gets boring when you are trying to find enough to eat for three meals every day and are limited to just a hot pot.

We go to the orphanage every day from 10am until 1pm. We do look forward to seeing all our little friends. Yesterday, we came as they were all washing the rugs. That was a pretty good way to keep them all busy and wear them out. lol The orphanage has an above ground pool that 10 kids at a time can swim in after their afternoon nap. They have to wait until there is someone to supervise them. They were using the water in the pool to wash and rinse the rugs. This soon became a contest as to who could dump the most water on whom.

The orphanage is down in numbers right now because it is summer and many of the children are with their parents or other relatives. It is hard to understand why they stay in the orphanage if they have relatives. Our facilitator stated the same thing. He doesn't understand either and this is his country. He said even if they are poor, they should be able to find a way to make it work. The orphanage is really not referred to as an orphanage here. They call it an internat or boarding school. Many families here are single mothers with many children in the family. One girl told us she is the only girl in the family with five brothers. I think that is why. This orphanage has many large sibling groups. Alcohol abuse is another reason. If parents are found neglectful, their rights are terminated. The sad thing is that the majority don't take steps to have their rights re-instated.

S-Town

2009-06-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

We have settled in in S-town. All is well and T and everyone seems happy. We visit in the morning with T and the other children. We have been staying outside to visit and we can see the other kids also. My little sweetie N had a birthday this week. She turned twelve. We took her a card and gift and some cake things for the kids. It rips a hole in my heart every time I spend time with those kids. They all come by to check things out, but then there are our friends who stay to spend time with us.
The courtyard is big and most is paved. They ride bicycles, kick balls, and just hang around.

They did not have the funds to send them to camp this year so they have little to do. P is the most friendly of the boys. He won an award for his drawings and ran in three different times to show us drawings and projects he had done. P is fifteen and appears to be maybe twelve. He is always laughing and always glad to see us and likes to spend time with the cab driver.

Part of me had rather not get to know these kids any better. If you know they are here, but you don't know who they are, it is easier not to care. But if you spend time with them, and you are sitting here with candy in your pocket that they have insisted you take from them, then it's not as easy not to care.

Papa Dennis

Crazy Busy

2009-06-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we were sitting here at the internet place when the lady in charge decided to turn off all the computers because of lightning. They have four new computers for the internet. They are so much nicer than the old slow ones they had last year. I had a terrible time last year typing for any length of time with the old keyboards.

Anyway, we have been kept very busy ever since our SDA appointment on Wednesday morning at 9am. Things went very well. We received our referral the same evening, then raced off to catch the train. We met a couple from Mississippi and saw another couple we met on the plane. They had their SDA appointment the day before, but had to wait for their referral because the lady who signs them was off on Tuesday.

Now, on to the news, I'm sure you're waiting to hear. We arrived in S-town at 8:50 am. We were met by our friend's taxi driver and another taxi because we had too much luggage. Eighty percent of our luggage is shoes, clothes and toys for the kids. We grew to know and love so many of these kids during our last visit, that we just had to bring them some things. I thought we had agreed to wait until the last to give them their toys, but Dennis is so anxious to give the toys to them, he said we would take some tomorrow. We'll see. We love giving them things, but we can't bring them loads of stuff every day. They will come to expect it.

After departing the train, we drive to S-town and unload our stuff at our now very familiar apartment. They are ready for us with the keys. It looks exactly the same except I believe they did finally get a new mattress for that extremely saggy bed. It had two valleys on each side with a hill in the middle. LOL We then drive to the inspector's office. I recognize her right away. It took her a few minutes to realize who we were even after she saw Karina. Karina had grown and changed so much in the last year. The facilitator, Dennis, Karina and I squeeze into the back seat of this oh-so-little-car with the inspector in the front seat. Anyone who's been here knows what I'm talking about. The director is not in today, so we meet with the assistant director, N, and the head of the teachers along with T. T is excited to see us all. If you knew her, you would definitely know this is very good. She is very shy. They are telling us all the good things about her. She is then asked to write a statement that she wants to be adopted by us and go to America. The inspector asked her to do this so that she won't have to make another visit to the orphanage. She writes a paper with the proper wording and signs her last name. This is so much better than the first time we arrived in December 2007. T was very stand-offish and told everyone she didn't know whether she wanted to come with us and wanted 2 days to think about it. This time, though, we told her we needed to decide on her new middle name. She will keep her first name. Karina came on this trip to be our interpreter, but at this moment she was busy talking to some of the other kids. T does her little pouty face and I don't understand why. I was afraid she was wanting to change her mind. What she wanted was to tell Karina what she had decided her middle name should be. Gabriella. She wanted the name of a High School Musical character. We are thrilled because this means she has been thinking about it!:) She is anxious to come. She's afraid her aunt will interfere. We have told her that this is her decision. She has all the say. Of course, we want her to come, but only if it is really what she wants. And it is!:)

A Trip to Remember

2009-06-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I originally wanted a catchier title than the regular, 'we are in Kiev or Hello from Kiev'. We are here, but not without a ton of 'excitement'. The first leg of our flight was very normal. Nothing unexpected. We arrived at JFK, found things to do to pass the time, walked around, found out where our gate was supposed to be, ate lunch at a somewhat expensive Chili's in the airport, then settled in the waiting area of our 'supposed' gate to watch planes. We later find out that we needed to be at another gate. Karina found a 'babushka' to talk to. She wanted to practice her English. She helped another lady figure out how to dial the phone since she only spoke Russian. Then, it was time to board the plane. Everything went like all normal flights were supposed to go, until about midnight New York time, 5am London time. So, you should be saying, 'why did she mention London?' Well, it seems that our flight crew decided to make an unexpected landing in London. One attendant said there were electrical issues, then the captain came on the loud speaker and said there was some oil leaking out of engine number one. Of course, they didn't want around 150 or so passengers panicking, but they sure landed that plane fast! The captain said that since it was 5am in London, no repair crew was available to fix our plane, so we sat for a while and waited. Then they told us that we would be staying the night at the Holiday Inn there and leaving the next morning. That was somewhat okay for us even though we had no phone or internet to communicate with anyone. There were two other families on the plane with SDA appointments the next morning, so they had to find a way out. They were exhausted once they arrived here, but the airline did find them a flight out that afternoon. They would have liked a direct flight like they booked, but at least they made it to their appointments.

Anyway, we are here in Kiev now at the internet cafe in Independence Square. We've walked around exploring and eaten a couple of meals. We are staying just around the corner from and have spent the evening with R.

I'll have to tell why I will never want to go through London again in another post so that I will remember:0

Morning Flight

2009-06-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

We are flying to Kiev, Ukraine in the morning. It is here. June is right, I can't decide what to take. We have three check in bags, maybe four, that are right at fifty pounds each. The more you take as donations and gifts, the less room you have for your own clothes. You want to take the best for the kids and then have to cram your clothes in a carry on bag.

I must take my journal. Last trip it helped to write down what happened that day. You do a lot, and you see a lot, and some days are pretty darn emotional. I write what we have endured that day in my journal and then, just maybe, I can close my eyes at the end of the day. Sometimes not.

If there is anything anyone wants from Kiev or Stakhanov, let me know. How about a pair of pointy Ukraine shoes? Maybe a Ukraine disco CD?
S&T, I wish I could bring you a Premium Bologna pizza from City Pizza. Better yet, we'll just meet you there for pizza and piva.

Papa Dennis

Last Post Before We Arrive in Kiev

2009-06-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

This will probably be the last time I will be able to post before we land in Kiev on Monday morning. I only have today and tomorrow to get everything done. We are almost all packed. Someone in our family procrastinates until the last moment, but we won't mention his name;) To be fair, though, he did give me most of his clothes last night, he just has to pick out a couple more things.

Well, I'm off now to finish up all the little detail things that need to be done before we are away from home for at least 4-6 weeks. Please pray it is closer to 4! We'll post again once we arrive in Kiev.

Dos-vah-don-yah!:)
(Goodbye)

Packing for Ukraine

2009-05-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

We are leaving in less than two weeks!:) I can't believe it. This time around has been so fast compared to the first time two years ago. I can't believe it's been two years since we submitted our first dossier either. Things did take a lot longer then. It was almost seven months before our dossier was submitted, then our travel date was four months later. We waited for, it seemed like, forever for our date. I believe it was at least eight weeks. Then we had two months to prepare. This time around, our SDA appointment is right at four months after our home study visit. Talk about quick! Of course, when you are going through it, it seems like forever. lol

It is easier to pack this time. I definitely know what things are essentials and what are not. Packing light is definitely a priority, though we do have a large duffel filled with donations. I have been collecting some clothes and many shoes to take to the kids. I was able to find soccer slides, girls' house shoes and jelly shoes marked down. We are only taking three check-in bags and a carry-on a piece. Once we get rid of all the donations and gifts, we will be combining bags or giving some away so that we will be hauling around very little.

Some of the main essentials are:

a flat sink stopper
wash rags (these are non-existent in Ukraine)
an alarm clock
bungee cords (for hanging wet clothes on)
sewing kit
safety pins
medicines

We are taking just enough shampoo and soap to last the first few days we are there. We can find most basics there like shampoo, kleenex-type tissue and hand soap, etc. There is a particular brand of Ukrainian shampoo that someone left in one of our apartments that I liked. I am looking forward to buying that brand when we run out. I am taking two tubes of toothpaste (3-4 oz.) and our own deodorant, though.

We are really looking forward to going back to Ukraine!

We have our date!

2009-05-21T12:33:00.000-07:00

We have our SDA appointment date of June 10! Two weeks from Sunday we will fly out of New York and head to Kiev for our second adoption. We certainly never thought that we would be doing this again just a year after bringing Karina home, but here we are, going after another thirteen year old girl.

We are really going

2009-05-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

We are actually going back to Ukraine. A flood of worries--money, travel, missing work, SDA, more money, and more money. Then something I have chosen not to think about a lot--children
happy to see you that want your attention, some with dirty faces and worn shoes. I can see several children I know by name. I see the old man who is a caretaker with his thick glasses that always seems happy to see us. Karina says he buys them candy and things. I need to take him a gift.
All the worries of going fade with the thoughts of seeing it all again. It's like jumping off the high dive, it's scary, but you have done it before, and you know how cool it really is. I wasn't planning on returning this quickly, but I know it is for the best now. Also, I can't imagine considering this my last trip to Ukraine.

Papa Dennis

Dossier Complete!

2009-05-11T15:24:00.001-07:00

Our dossier is now complete. This will change our status on the Pretre blog;) lol

As I type this post, our dossier is in the air headed to Kiev with our personal couriers. Please pray for the couriers. That they have a safe trip and a good SDA appointment on May 14. Also that the SDA accepts our dossier as is. It took a lot to get it done! And that the dossier gets registered soon with a submission date.

Papers in Hand!

2009-05-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

I kept checking our tracking number for the return postage for our apostilled papers. Finally, last night showed some change! We received our papers in the mail today and the mail actually came early for once! I then went to Kinko's to check on FedEx to see how much it would cost and how long it would take to get to Kiev. I was very disappointed to find that the papers would not go out until Monday and arrive on Friday! Fortunately, we have some friends we met last weekend who are leaving on Monday for their May 14th SDA appointment. The airport is much closer to our house than their's so it won't be any problem to meet them there:)

This is so great of them to do this favor for us. Please pray for their appointment.

Waiting

2009-05-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

Why do things take so long when you are just about finished and there is nothing else to do? I was able to get our I-171h a couple of days early, so I hurried, got the paper notarized and sent off to the Capitol the same day. I even splurged and bought overnight postage for the return envelope. Well, here it is 6 business days later and we're still waiting! Last time, it only took 4 business days to get our papers back and there were many more of them. I also only paid Priority postage the first time. I thought surely these few papers would get back quicker especially with Express postage!!! Now, I have to worry about whether they got lost in the mail. Then, if that happened these original one of a kind papers will have to be duplicated and sent to be apostilled, once again:0

I-171h Update

2009-05-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

I've been exchanging emails with our local USCIS office. One of my friends suggested to ask for a faxed copy of our approval letter, another said to ask for an electronic copy. This was their response:

"Due to Personal Identifiable Information Protection we are no longer
able to send anything with your personal identification on it through
email or fax."

BUT -- "Your approval letter is ready for pickup today if you so desire."

I did so desire. It's a good thing the office isn't that far from my house. I made it barely in time. Mostly because I went to the wrong building first. It seems that you mail the I-1600a to one address and then it is forwarded to the proper department.

The most important thing is that the last of the dossier papers are at the post office on their way today to be apostilled!!!

I-171h Approved

2009-04-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it will be two weeks tomorrow that we had our fingerprints taken, so I emailed our local USCIS office. An email came back saying we are approved and that we should receive our approval paperwork within the next two weeks. TWO WEEKS!! That seems like an eternity!:0 We have everything else done. Most of it is translated.

There are rumors about the government of Ukraine imposing a moratorium on adoptions soon. Then, some people with definite appointments to submit have had those dates moved to several months later. It's stress enough trying to do the paperwork to meet all these crazy changes that the State Department of Adoption is imposing without the added stress of waiting!

ONE YEAR HOME!

2009-04-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Today marks Karina's one year anniversary in America. We weren't home the whole day. We flew the good portion of it. If I remember right, we arrived at JFK around 4pm or so. We spent a few hours in the Atlanta airport where Karina slept a good bit. We landed in our home airport between 10:30 and 10:45pm, exhausted. At least I was. I can't sleep anywhere there is noise and stirring.
Karina has come a long way since that time. She knew very little English and probably nothing about having parents or siblings. I still don't know how much she still doesn't know about that, but she seems to be settled in. She has made a complete transformation from where she was a year ago. We know several Russian and Ukrainian adoptees and it amazes me how they totally change over time. How they can totally assimilate into American culture.

I never thought back then, that we would be thinking of going back already!

Fingerprints DONE!

2009-04-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

We did the last thing we needed to do for our dossier this morning, take fingerprints. Now we wait for the I-171h, have it apostilled, then off to Ukraine to finish up our dossier:)

Today's the Day!

2009-04-10T14:24:00.002-07:00

The day we received our fingerprint letter anyway:) It has taken 4 weeks to arrive. Now that we have this letter in hand, we can go to the nearest fingerprint facility for USCIS and have our fingerprints taken. Our oldest son has to go also since he is 20 now and lives with us.

Once our prints are taken, it should only take about two weeks to receive our I-171h. That is the final paper for our dossier!

Oh, another thing. The bulk of our dossier was mailed to Ukraine last Wednesday. According to the tracking on the USPS website, our package left Chicago on an International dispatch yesterday. Hopefully, we will be receiving an email from our facilitator soon that our package has arrived.

Music fixed on 2nd Video

2009-04-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

The music has been replaced on our second video. If you've ever been to Ukraine, you will recognize the 'style'. If you are going, this is the 'disco' type music you can expect to hear, though with Russian words to it.

Announcement

2009-04-01T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess it's about time to announce that we are going to Ukraine for a second adoption. If anyone is still following, you were given a hint a couple of posts ago. We have been busy starting the process again the past couple of months. Today, I mailed a big packet of documents off to be apostilled. Not everything, because we are waiting on our fingerprint letter from USCIS and our updated home ownership letter, but a nice thick envelope of papers. There was almost not enough room to fit a prepaid soft priority envelope and the money order in there! There are only two documents left. The home ownership letter was done today, but the notary didn't think about her stamp shortening the life of our document. It will make the paper expire in less than 6 months instead of a year. You have to watch those things. Anyway, we should receive our fingerprint letter this week or next week at the latest. Our area is pretty quick about those things. We received our I-171h within 2 weeks of taking prints for our first adoption.

There have been some major changes to the dossier. Most things are the same with minor details, but the things that have changed are more difficult to obtain. These new documents have to meet very specific requirements. I fretted about a couple of them, but our facilitator we chose helped narrow things down to make them easier. Plus we have some great friends to help us:)

Things are going so quickly this time it's amazing! We had our home study in hand around a month after our home visit. That was lightning speed! Our Social Worker is the sweetest lady. She was so helpful. We are also going independent this time which is so much less expensive. Of course, we've been through this once, so many things are familiar which has helped things go faster as well. It took us 4 months to get our home study in hand after starting, 8 months to get our dossier submitted (bundle of required paperwork for Ukriaine) and 10 months to get to Ukraine for our SDA appointment. This time, it took a little over a month to get our completed home study, two months to get our dossier together (about the same as last time) and our papers should be in Ukraine before the end of April, three months after starting! We don't know how long it will take to get a submission date, but many families are traveling within 3-4 weeks of being submitted. That is super fast considering we didn't learn our travel date last time until 2 months after being submitted!

We are going to try to adopt the little girl who told us 'no' when we adopted Karina. She came and visited us during Christmas for a little over 2 weeks. She is older and a little more mature. I think she regrets her decision to stay. We'll see. It was very devastating when she refused to come with us. But she still called us Mama and Papa the whole time we were in Ukraine. She acted like she changed her mind just before we left, so we decided to give her another chance and brought her here for Christmas. She will be 14 on her next birthday. Children 'age out' of the orphanage at the end of the school year after they turn 16. So, she doesn't have too many years and there are not many choices for girls as far as careers go.

We are praying she says yes, but prepared for if she says no. We won't come home empty handed.

First Birthday in America

2009-03-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Karina turned 13 years old on March 5. Her first birthday celebrated in America. Last year, she was in Ukraine on her birthday, while we were at home waiting on her birth certificate to be obtained from Russia. Even though she was in an Ukrainian orphanage and considered a citizen of Ukraine, the judge couldn't (or wouldn't, who knows?) issue her a birth certificate. Our facilitator had to make several trips to Moscow to find out how to get this done. There are no specific guidelines, so it's anybody's guess. There just so happens to be someone who does know what to do and many of the facilitators in Ukraine know him. We never knew his name until recently.

We did have cake for Karina and both her brothers once we did finally arrive home with her. While we were in Ukraine waiting on Karina's passport, her brothers had both their birthdays. That's the picture on our blog with all of them with individual birthday cakes.

Karina has had many firsts since being home for 11 months now. That's another anniversary that was a few days ago on March 15. Her year anniversary will be on April 15. I will HAVE to post on that day since I've missed all the other dates.

I'll have to sit down and write all those 'firsts' down so I don't miss any of them and make that another post.

Second Visit

2009-01-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

We had the opportunity to host T again. She returned last Wednesday after a two and a half week stay. I wanted to give her a chance to visit with Karina and us. She had shown some remorse when we left Ukraine with Karina earlier this year.

She had a great time with Karina and even bonded just a little with me. She has always been very close to the boys, but not with June or me. This visit she did express a desire to be part of the family, but not enough to totally convince me. She left some things here for us to keep until she returns, and she told others that she was coming back in a few months. Karina said she cried the night before she left, but showed no emotion at the airport the next morning. The whole visit was just a bit stressful.

It is a big decision to turn around and go back to Ukraine. We have discussed it and will have to do just that. T is very immature and she may very well change her mind again. I would love to have T as my daughter. If she doesn't want that, we will bring home another child.
Simple as that.... Right?......Yikes... Where's the Pepto?

Papa

Let it Snow

2008-12-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today it snowed in Houston. Doesn't happen very often. Just enough to stick to the cars. Karina confronted me saying, "You say, America-No snow!" I do remember saying that. She doesn't cut me any slack.

T is coming to visit soon. Karina worries about her. I wasn't sure about a visit so soon. Again, I remember sitting on the steps of the orphanage with T and promising to visit her in one year. Somehow they get you to say "I promise." Or "ah-beh-shi-yew."

Papa

Six Months Today!

2008-10-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that today is our six month anniversary of coming home. Everything is still so fresh to us. I have realized though, by reading the blogs and reports of others that are in Ukraine going through the adoption process, that the negative things go away fairly quickly.

A Wish Upon a Star

2008-10-04T18:32:00.000-07:00

Recently, Karina and I were outside just before dark. Karina saw a star and told me that if I made a wish it would come true. When I didn't agree whole heartedly, she said, "No Papa, it's true!" She went on to explain that she once saw a star and wished that she could have a family and now she has a family.....Take a minute to think how many children around the world have made that same wish and are waiting for that wish to come true.

We are hoping to be able to host our first little girl again. On our last visit to the orphanage, she told me she wanted to go with us. I don't think she knew what she wanted, but I promised her then that we would see her again. She is very immature and I don't think she knows what she wants. Karina is very compassionate and worries about her and wants her to be her sister so she can help her....Wow.

Papa

We survived Hurricane Ike!

2008-09-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

Ike may not have been a very strong hurricane compared to others that have come through our neck of the woods, but he left a big impression. My husband and I are
both natives and even though Rita, which followed the devastating Katrina, was a strong hurricane there just wasn't as much damage that I remember or recovery time involved. With Rita, we were only out of power a short amount of time. I don't even remember losing power more than one day. But with Ike, we were without power for almost five days. The power outage reinforced our decision to have a gas stove and gas water heater. At least we could cook and have warm water since our water service was never interrupted. Our phone service was on at first, then off for a day or so, then back on again. I've never felt so isolated before. I couldn't call my older daughter, mother, sister or brothers. FEMA confiscated the cell phone lines for the first few days too, so if your cell was still charged you couldn't reach anyone anyway. Our daughter in another state could call our cell, but we couldn't call her.

The first two nights were so hot, I couldn't sleep, but then God blessed us with a cool front. I was almost at the point of thinking about washing a few clothes by hand before the electricity came back on. Hmmm, seems like I've done that before recently;)

We have friends in Ukraine right now and we couldn't call them or email them to see how their appointment went on the Monday following the hurricane.

One good thing, was that we got to know neighbors we've never met before. People were getting their grills out and pooling their food, that was going to go bad without electricity, together. Even when the lights came on, there were still some neighbors who really liked how things had been and still had their suppers outside:)

Little Miss Karina slept through the whole hurricane! The worst part for her was when it was dark and she couldn't see into every closet. She has quite an imagination.

Another thing that took backseat to Ike, was that Karina has been home for 5 months now!

Day off.

2008-06-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today I took Karina to the community pool. She can beg me for hours to take her. She jumps off the diving board with the rest of the kids. I could tell she wanted to make friends with some of the kids there.

She is still very small and skinny. She remembers her birth mother and has shared some memories with us. I think they are typical of a lot of Ukraine children. There is more physical and mental abuse than I would have wanted her or any child to endure. I think she understands that it is all part of the past.

I talked to an old friend today that adopted a toddler from Russia ten years ago. I still remember picking his daughter up ten years ago and thinking how small she was for her age. It was good to hear from him and good to talk to someone who understands.

Papa

Changes

2008-06-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Karina went to the doctor this week just for a check-up. The doctor that did her examination in Ukraine, said that she detected a heart murmur. Well, our doctor didn't. They also measured how tall she was. They had a chart on the wall and she was 55 1/2 inches tall. That means she has grown over three inches in two months!

I was recently looking at pictures while we were in Kiev waiting on the passport. There is really a difference in her looks. I'm wondering how tall she'll be and how much she'll change in a year.

She's picked up several English phrases. 'That's a great idea', 'Very good', 'Put your clothes on'. Can you tell some of the things she hears around here? lol She uses 'put your clothes on' when referring to clothes in any context. Yesterday, we went out to eat with some friends. The husband said something and Karina responded 'Oh, well'. She opened the ketchup bottle and said 'Open the door'. Oh, well, she had the idea anyway. I wish she would understand 'that doesn't match' though. It seems like she pairs her clothes in like colors. Or colors she 'thinks' are alike. I can't get across the idea, yet anyway, that pink and orange don't go together!!

PS - 'put your clothes on' just means change out of play clothes or pajamas. I started worrying that someone might get the wrong idea:0

Good Nutrition

2008-06-15T08:45:00.001-07:00

This is a subject I haven't seen discussed on adoption blogs. How much good nutrition affects our adopted children (and others). Yes, people talk about how much their child grows once home, but I've noticed even more. It may be because I was a hairdresser in my pre-stay at home days, but I've really noticed a big difference in Karina's hair. When we were in Ukraine, she wanted to put her hair up, mostly in pigtails. (I don't know what it is with Ukraine orphans and pigtails! lol) Well, I talked her into letting me braid her hair. It looked much better than plain pigtails. At that time, her hair was thin and sparse and almost fuzzy behind her ears, but now, what a difference. Her hair is thick. I never thought her hair would be. It helps a little that I've cut her hair twice since we've been home, but the fuzzy, sparse hair behind the ears is history. This may not be common knowledge, but I learned that when the body is lacking nutrients, it takes them from the hair. The hair needs every nutrient and amino acid that the body needs. Oh, the things we do to our hair!

Too Old for Baby dolls

2008-06-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

I told Karina that she needed to clean her room because it was getting so bad you couldn't see the floor. When she cleans, she reorganizes everything. It's kind of funny, I do that too! I like to know that every bit of room is clean. Getting the time to do that is another story!

Anyway, she was going through her toys and decided she didn't need any of the baby doll stuff anymore, the baby, carrier, dishes, blankets, etc. She is twelve now and doesn't play with dolls. Well, she's been twelve ever since March 5, so I didn't understand the sudden change. When Dad got home, she told him the reason. Her fourteen year old friend, adopted from the same orphanage, might come over soon. Karina can't let her friend see her with baby dolls!

First Weeks Home and First Slide show

2008-06-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, Karina will have been home for eight weeks! It's hard to believe that it has been that long already. I thought we lived dull, boring lives, but we've done a a lot in these first few weeks. Karina went for her first nature walk. We brought home eight caterpillars, two Luna moths and six Regalis'. She has, and still is, scared to death of any and every bug, but she wanted to touch these caterpillars and pet them. Our two Luna caterpillars have cocooned and one hatched yesterday. We opened a window and it flew out last night. The other six caterpillars are growing like crazy. So she's getting a firsthand lesson in biology.

We've been to several social outings with our homeschool group. The pictures where she is playing in the water was the first one, volunteering for the local Children's Museum and swimming. The bonus in volunteering for the Children's Museum was that she was able to visit the Museum also. This was her second time to visit. The first time was when we met her when she came for camp over a year ago.

Her sister came for a visit. She lives in another state. This was the first time they had met and they got along great. It's amazing how much alike they are! One was born to us and we had to travel thousands of miles and wait weeks on end for the other one. We went to a cousin's graduation. So she got her picture taken with her two cousins and her grandmother.

We went to see Prince Caspian. She really liked that too. She wanted to go see another movie right after it was over. She's been to Chick-fil-a, the beach, rode on a ferry, witnessed a baptism in a friend's pool, loves going to Sunday School, loves to school at home, and has gone swimming a few times. That's all I can think of right now.

We can't wait to see how she does when she sees her first 4th of July Fireworks show. They put on a huge one at a mall near us.

New Video - The Rest of the Story

2008-05-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

We finally have a new video telling the rest of the story of when we went back for a month to retrieve our daughter. We were in Ukraine for 5 weeks during December 2007 and January 2008. We came home for eight weeks to wait on a new birth certificate then went back from March 16-April 15, 2008. The video has mostly pictures of our return trip. There is one picture included that we took around Christmas time.

One Month Home

2008-05-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

Things are getting back to normal. Karina is doing very good. They tell you all the horror stories and I have expected something bad to happen. We left her alone for the first time two weeks ago for her Sunday school class. She didn't want to go at first but it turned out to be something she now looks forward to. That and "little bit" Snickers.
Karina had a little problem with sleeping in the past. Some will probably gasp at this, but she slept with us in Stakhanov. Now she is happy to sleep in her own bed and has no problems sleeping. She has also stopped eating so much. I think she has grown at least three inches in the two months she has been out of the orphanage. She is becoming less clingy and more and more like a normal kid.
She gets along abnormally well with her Mother. I mentioned that we should buy her some shorter shorts to wear and Karina firmly told me that Mama says no short shorts. Well, excuse me!

I found a good youtube video. Go to youtube and do a search for "For the fatherless ukraine"

Dennis

Time Flies.

2008-05-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we have been back two weeks now. Everything is so normal. I never expected Karina to be such a normal kid. I can't believe I have a twelve year old daughter. It makes me feel old, but I am keeping up pretty good. I can't help but think of where she would be right now if we hadn't taken that chance. Where would I be?
I look back at the experience of adopting and traveling to Ukraine. Some of the hardships are starting to fade a bit and some of the happy times come to the front.
I still haven't taken the Ukraine money out of my billfold and I probably won't. It's just a reminder, like the Keiv Cross necklace I wear.
Would I do it again? Yeah. We went for two and brought home one and left thousands behind.
Dennis

There's No Place Like Home, There's .......

2008-04-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have to wholeheartedly agree with Dorothy on this one! Home seems so much better after you've been away for a while. The longer you're away, the more you miss it!

Karina is doing well. Actually much better than I anticipated. She has adjusted to our time here extremely well. We are eight hours behind Ukraine time. She absolutely loves her two big brothers. She keeps the one with the fur on his face, laughing all the time. I tell him, don't laugh, it just encourages her. He still laughs anyway. She also wears both brothers out! lol

Karina and her two brothers all have March birthdays. We missed all of them. Karina was in Ukraine on hers while we were waiting on the birth certificate and we were in Ukraine with Karina on both boys' birthdays. We did bring them something special from Ukraine. Karina bought and decorated a card for each of them and also bought a silly little man on a key chain. I think he's some type of well known character in Ukraine.

We traveled for almost 24 hours to get home. Karina slept on the last two plane rides, which were only about an hour and a half. A minute amount of time compared to the ten hour plane ride from Kiev to JFK. She didn't sleep on that one at all. She also slept an hour at the airport. Her body was on Ukraine time still. My husband's and my body didn't know what time to be on. We arrived home around 10:30pm Tuesday night. Karina was very sleepy until she saw the people waiting for us at the airport. The airport was almost empty since it was so late. She was handed flowers and balloons. The balloons are still floating a little. I had to get some sleep around 1am that night since I hadn't had any and I think Karina and Dad finally got to sleep around 2am. Well, she didn't sleep long because she was up at 7am and has only slept until 7 or 8 each morning since, until this morning when we needed to get up for church!

She looked so forward to riding a bicycle when we arrived home. She wanted to do everything in the first day! lol She did get to ride her bicycle, meet some new friends, swing and watch a movie or two on that first day. She is getting better about her little pouty fits, they are shorter, but she is still very impatient and wants everything right away. I'm sure time will cure that. Her brothers have also taught her to play some of our board games, games on the computer and they taught her how to play the X-Box yesterday. She'll have to learn that she can't dominate it, though. There is give and take in a family. The boys have been very patient with her and have allowed me to rest a little in the afternoons and get over my jetlag. I am planning on this week being back to normal, at least as much as possible. She also demands a lot of my attention, but so do all the clothes and dishes, not to mention fixing meals.

We had a time yesterday shopping for shoes for church. We did only go to resale shops at first, so the selection is limited. She thinks that shoes only fit if they are exactly as long as your foot. We had such a time when we bought her some tennis shoes (I'm sorry, that's what I've always called them) She wanted to squeeze her foot into the ones she liked. We kept telling her they were too small which ended up in a little fit because she didn't get those that day. We went back the next day and they had some in a bigger size. We tried to show her how you need a little room at the end of your toes. It seemed like we got our point across, but yesterday you would have thought we never told her that. I did have some shoes where I had guessed her size and she said they fit. Well, after she wore them a few minutes, she told me they hurt her feet. I bought her some flip-flops. She wore those, then decided that they hurt her toes, so now she won't wear her brand new shoes.

At the resale shop, she picked out all the 'oo-la-la' shoes. That's what she says when she likes something. Every pair she picked had high heels and were beyond a doubt for women, not little girls. It has been hard convincing her to dress like a little girl, not a fashion model like you see on the streets of Ukraine. I finally ended up just going and picking out her shoes for church by myself. If she didn't know what was available, then no fits and she would just have to wear what she had. Later, when I can reason with her, I will take her and let her pick out her own shoes. She does like the ones I picked out. I wasn't going to totally ignore her likes. The shoes are just like what all the other little girls wear.

The church dress is another story. A friend of mine gave me some beautiful hand me down dresses in great shape. The one I wanted her to wear was a typical little girl dress. She said people would laugh at her. We had a hard time convincing her that they wouldn't. Until she actually want to church and saw that they didn't. Some of the girls dress a little more casual, but many do wear nice dresses.

This is what I think happened to make her think like that. When she visited here in our area over a year ago, she took back some similar style dresses to the orphanage. The one she is wearing in our video, the blue and white checked dress, where she is reading out of a Bible Story book to the preacher of the church and the director whose ministry brought the children over was her favorite one. That is what I consider a typical little girl dress. You know, a church dress. Anyway, apparently she was laughed at when she wore those dresses at the orphanage. We really never saw the kids dressed up there except when the boys wore suits for special performances. They wore mostly dirty play clothes and some only wore those plastic slides. I think I've seen them called soccer shoes. It is sad that she had that negative experience.

She had been pretty willing to wear the clothes I have for her except she thinks her shorts are too long. She's just going to have to get used to having a mother tell her what she can't wear:)

Joy

2008-04-17T06:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I watched Karina ride her bicycle way before I had planned on getting up. After traveling all day the day before. It has been over a year since we began this journey. Except for us talking in Russian, no one would know.

No one can know what a life changing experience this has been except the ones who have made that commitment. It was harder than I ever expected it to be, but I have gotten more from this experience than I could have ever imagined. In Kiev I met people who were there adopting for the same reason I was. I met a woman adopting four teenage children. Absolutely amazing.

We had the pleasure of spending time with a couple we met during the host program and their two new children. I had the Joy of experiencing plane, train and taxi rides, snow and sub zero weather, stinky socks, and weeks in a foreign country. I also got to meet and know personally, children living in an orphanage in a foreign country whose faces will always be with me.

We brought Karina home to a new life and she has fallen into place like the last piece in a puzzle.
Dennis

We're DONE!!!

2008-04-14T05:36:00.000-07:00

We received our visa today at 2:30pm Ukraine time! We have flights reserved, but now we have to work out some details. There are two airports in our city. One is fifteen minutes away and the other is over an hour and a half, with no traffic. Guess which one we are tentatively booked to fly into? I'm sure we'll get it all worked out and hopefully will be home tomorrow night!

We met a mom today that has been here in Ukraine for almost 14 weeks! She and her husband have adopted 4 older children. Not all are biological siblings. After all the trials it's nice to be reminded of why we started this journey in the first place. But, I really, really miss home.

Hopefully the next post will be from home :)

Phase One of the VISA application done!

2008-04-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

The passport finally arrived today! :) It didn't come until after 12pm, so we went to the Embassy this morning and took them some of the required documents and filled out forms to get the process started. They said that we could go ahead and start the process with the passport number. Then, later this afternoon, we took the original documents and the passport back to the Embassy. We weren't able to do the medical today, so that will be done on Monday morning. We have an appointment to receive the VISA at 2pm on Monday!! We are praying that all goes smoothly and we will be out of here on Tuesday. Finally!

I forgot to tell about the train problem. Our roomie never showed up! Our facilitator traded us his bottom berth since he couldn't make the train that night. I told him that the person might not be willing to trade a bottom for an upper, but we didn't have to even worry about it. It was so nice having the cabin all to ourselves. Our friends rode in the cabin next to us with their two (new:) children. Having them here has really helped our attitudes (and theirs) all the way around.

In Kiev for the last time

2008-04-10T06:04:00.000-07:00

We arrived here in Kiev by train yesterday (Wednesday) Unfortunately (this is our facilitator's favorite word) the passport isn't here. We haven't heard anything, but are hoping that our facilitator will be able to pick the passport up tomorrow. The bad thing is that it is in Lugansk, far away from Kiev. We will be able to start the visa process, though once our facilitator knows the passport number, which is good. But, we won't make it out of Ukraine this weekend. At least we have another family here in Kiev with us to pass the time. After I finish this post, we are headed to ride the Funicular. We are so disappointed that things are taking this long, but we decided to try and do some fun things that we may never be able to do again.

I'm sure many are asking, including us, why is this taking so long? Many families have their passport within a week. We were told last Tuesday that some of the papers have been lost. Our friends only have one week into their passport wait for their two children, so they are hoping and praying that the passport office gets their stuff straight by the time their children's passports are due.

Still Waiting

2008-04-05T02:47:00.000-07:00

(Should I warn you first that this is a very long post since I haven't posted since Monday?;)

Nothing much happened with the passport all week since the last post on Monday. Our facilitator was told yesterday, Friday, that he will be able to pick up the passport on Tuesday. It needs one more stamp so that K can go abroad permanently. Of course, Monday is a holiday (again) so we have to wait until Tuesday. In America, a passport is a passport is a passport. An adult passport is good for ten years. I'm not sure about a child's passport, but both are good for visiting anywhere in the world. There are no different levels of passports. Here in Ukraine, from what I think I understand, there are temporary and permanent passports and maybe many more levels.
Anyway, we are supposed to be able to pick up the passport on Tuesday. We've waited so long now, I'll only relax when it's in our possession.

We have had a full week otherwise. We have some friends that arrived here on Wednesday that were at the same place in their adoption as we were when we arrived. They have completed their two children's passport applications (a brother and sister). They are staying with us in the apartment. This apartment is larger than most we've seen here. It has two very large rooms, one small room and a tiny kitchen with only a hot pot. They were told the local hotel, the nice one anyway, is full, so we were more than happy to have them stay with us. It sure helps the time to pass much more quickly to be able to have someone to converse with (in English:) and share similar experiences. The mom of this family and I talk frequently by email, but both dads have never really gotten to know each other, so I think this is really good for both of them. Plus, us moms, had already decided to keep in touch because the children are from the same orphanage. We are all taking the train to Kiev on Tuesday evening. That will be an experience for both of us. The train to (and from) Kiev is very popular here. We could only get tickets from Lugansk, which will end up okay since we have to go there anyway to pick up the passport. There are too many of us to ride in one cab, though. But, we do have tickets in cabins right next to each other. I was looking at our eight tickets, because we wanted to buy the whole cabin, and noticed that we only had three of one cabin and one seat number was way off in the first cabin. I think, I may be wrong here, but it is my supposition that people buy bottom bunks in first class and someone bought the first bottom bunk in our cabin, so we have one bottom and two uppers. We are hoping (and praying) that the one person in our cabin with that other bunk will want to exchange tickets. The only problem is that it is and upper bunk and that's why we were able to buy it. I can't remember if I wrote about this already but on the way here, my husband and I shared a cabin with two men. We really had the two upper bunks. One of the men was already in the cabin when we arrived. We sat on one of the bottom bunks and when the other man arrived, he saw me and didn't really say anything and took the top bunk. We were very blessed that they were so nice. I've heard many other stories about train experiences. I couldn't sleep, though. It was so very hot. So, I was determined that we would buy our tickets soon enough to have a whole cabin to ourselves. We are praying that this other person won't want to ride with children and be willing to switch tickets with us.

Karina is very excited that she will get to spend some time with our friends and their children. She visited with them at the orphanage while they were here for the first part of their adoption. She has calmed down quite a bit. I think she is finally understanding that Mama and Papa want to give her things, but not because she gets mad at us for not doing it or any of the other bad behaviors she has demonstrated. All of our disagreements have stemmed from her being mad because she didn't get her way. From what I've observed, the other children at the orphanage seemed to want to appease her if she was mad at them, so she tried transferring that behavior to us. She learned pretty quickly that we didn't respond favorably to that type of behavior. We went all day yesterday without one mad spell! There is light at the end of the tunnel!! Maybe we are getting the message across. We did end up at the orphanage for a little while yesterday to meet up with our friends to walk to the orphanage director's house for dinner. She lives right across the street from the orphanage in a house. She and her husband have been slowly remodeling it for about ten years. I've heard that's the ultimate dream here to have your own house to fix up. Anyway, Karina was different during this orphanage visit. I could see her time with us has changed her. She and her dad had bought some candy to take and of course she wanted to give every bit of it away to the first children she saw. Dad convinced her to wait just a little. She even ended up giving away the bag she brought the candy in, which I had bought for her. I can understand better now. She probably sees how much more she has and will have than her friends.

We got a lot of great Pictures of her friends for keepsakes for her. We will probably send some to them as well. They just love seeing their pictures in the digital camera. I think digital cameras are the best invention ever!! You can take as many photos as you want, save them all, then only develop the ones you want.

We also met an Italian couple that is here adopting an adorable seven year old boy. He is so happy. He smiles all the time. He doesn't look seven though. He is so small. The husband could speak a good amount of English, he said he didn't know much, but he knew enough to converse with us and understand everything we said. They told us that another Italian couple was also here adopting. I am very glad to see the children from this orphanage being referred for adoption. We were told that until this year, there were only a handful of adoptions from this orphanage. If I told you the town name, I'm pretty sure that not very many people would know it. One disadvantage many of the children in this orphanage have toward being adopted is that the majority have many siblings. One little girl is one of six or seven children living at the orphanage. That is a very sad thing to me that whole families are not together.

Our dad was very sad yesterday because of our host child. She always comes up to us when we're there. She hugs us and calls us Mama and Papa. That was very hard for me to take since she told us no. It was very confusing to me. Then I realized, that even though her aunt visits her occasionally, at least we gave her something. We showed her what a family could be like and we gave her love. We will still keep in touch with her and probably the other children we have met there. This has truly been a life changing experience for us. There are so many children here who need families.

We promised Karina and our host child that we would visit one last time on Monday. Karina saw that her dad was upset. She can't stand to see us cry, even when it is happy tears. She told her dad not to cry today. He can cry on Monday and she will too.

Still no Passport

2008-03-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

We haven't heard anything today about the passport. Each day we are getting closer to receiving it, so tomorrow looks hopeful. It would be nice to be on the train to Kiev on Wednesday night. Then we would have Thursday and Friday to do the medical and go to the Embassy. Then we're out of here!

Karina is really very good considering we took her out of the only home she's known for the past four years. She has been surrounded by only children with no one on one adult supervision. She's done what it take to survive in that environment. All children test their parents. It's just easier to handle one bad behavior at a time and not allow bad habits to form. She needs to know what our expectations are and we need to know the most effective way to deal with her. I just feel like we have the disadvantage right now, since when we get out of the apartment and are around Russian speakers, she doesn't 'understand' us like when it's just us in the apartment. She has also 'threatened' to go back to the Internat when she doesn't get her way or we don't buy her what she wants. It'll pass.

Today, when we went to the supermarket, she chose a birthday card for each of her brothers. They won't necessarily care about how 'pretty' the cards are, but they'll know she was thinking of them.

I forgot to mention some of our other food experiences we've had. One day, we went to the outside open market to buy some salami or kielbasa as they call it. We chose a package that was totally sealed up, so you couldn't see what was inside. When we got home, we had a nice size chub of smoked cream cheese! I didn't know there was such a thing. When I looked closely at the package, under the price written in black marker was the word for cheese.

We've also tried a couple of the food stands. There is one chain in Kiev which sells rectangular individual pizza bread for 6 greevna, which is about $1.20 USD. (it's called Fonetti's and the stands are orange and blue) The pizza breads are very good, especially if you catch them when they are hot. We kept seeing people buy some type of kolache style buns, but bigger at our little open market. One morning we bought K one. They cooked it right when it was ordered. It ended up being pretty big. About 3 times the size of a honey bun with some type of ground meat inside. K really liked it. It was pretty good. I guess she's our very willing guinea pig to try some of these things. She knows how to order. We tried something similar today. K ended up with something like the huge whatever it was the other day and we had a similar bun with a sausage type pattie inside. It was good too. We have been very blessed that we haven't gotten sick from anything we've eaten. We just go to the local supermarket and buy cooked skewered chicken, salami, ham, yogurt, juice, butter, etc. We've found some inexpensive soda type drinks we like. At the open market we buy Ramen noodle soup and instant potatoes. The only cooking type of appliance we have in our apartment kitchen is a hot pot. I found a large package of Ramen noodles and then we went to the supermarket and bought some Italian type sauce to make spaghetti. We are going to use some of the chicken skewer chunks for our meat. We tried some cooked hamburger-looking patties from the supermarket once, but they weren't anything like hamburger. There is another blog where they posted about oatmeal and tuna. We found some tuna. It wasn't quite as chunky as we're used to and it was more expensive, but it was tuna. I also bought some oatmeal and made it for breakfast. It was very good and super easy to fix. I just put the amount of oatmeal I wanted in a bowl, poured just enough hot water to cover, covered the bowl with a plate and waited a few minutes. I then added butter and some sugar. (I really like brown sugar, but the store didn't have any) It was really good and cheap! K said she didn't like it. Then I told her to just taste a little of mine. Well, that changed her mind. I think she'll be eating some tomorrow morning;)

The City Park and Food

2008-03-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

We went to 'the' park in the city we are in today. It is still a little cold here when the wind blows. Karina found a little boy to play with. I would guess he was 4. She loved running after him and they played on all the playground equipment. She told him to be careful at times. Then, a little girl came up and they really hit it off. This little girl was just a tiny bit taller than Karina. When the parents needed to go, the little girl gave Karina her phone number. We asked how old the little girl was and Karina said she was 8. I guess sometimes it's good when you can be any age at anytime. lol

We have been going to the local pizza place almost everyday for lunch. We've only gotten up the courage to try two different kinds, Chicken and one called 'Feer-min-ahta' The Chicken pizza's name is spelled phonetically with Cyrillic letters, so we knew what it was. I could somewhat make out the words for the other one. We looked at one called 'Kalifornia' (phonetically spelled in Cyrillic) and asked Karina what one word was. She baaa'ed like a lamb. Their idea of certain foods here is definitely different. We tried something different today. We ordered 'potatoes free', the potato word was in Russian and the free was spelled phonetically. I wondered what type of potatoes would be 'free' It ended up to be french fries, so that ended up okay even though they put garlic on them. We also ordered Spaghetti. It looks very different spelled in Cyrillic, and the dish was very different too. No red sauce. Just spaghetti noodles with melted, grated white cheese, ham chunks and mushrooms. Karina liked it anyway. We ended up ordering a 'feer-min'ata' So much for experimentation!

Better Day

2008-03-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have a better perspective today. But, I'm allowed to be down just a little occasionally, right? I'm sure a lot of my negativeness the other day was because we are missing both of our boys' birthdays. One turns 19 today.

Also, I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should. The sun comes up here around 5am. That's a lot earlier than at home. It's closer to 7am there.

We have two weeks behind us so we are that much closer to going home. I'm sure things will change this next week and once we are home, Karina will adjust just fine. She's very bright and has already taught herself to somewhat sound out English words. She just needs to get over her stubborness and let us correct her when she's wrong;)

Still Waiting on the Passport and Behavior

2008-03-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

It's almost 5pm on Friday afternoon here and we still have no word on the passport. It's only been a week now, but we were being optimistic. We do anticipate hearing something at least by mid-week.

I had read about orphanage behavior and that children from orphanages are emotionally immature, but it's something else when you experience it first hand! Somedays our twelve year old acts like a two year old. Then in other ways she's older. She is physically smaller than most twelve year olds we've seen or known. I'm not very tall, 5'3, but by the time our biological daughter was twelve, she was getting taller than me. She did end up being about 5'7. I had read that orphanage children are physically smaller also. We decided to adopt an older child because we didn't want a younger child and along with that younger child behaviors. As soon as I think we are making progress, she digresses. I believe part of that is that we are still in her 'environment' She kind of gets the big head, because we don't understand everything spoken in the market, etc, but I do know enough Russian to get by and we got along just fine before she went to the market and places with us. I don't mind her feeling important, but it seems like when she is out around other Russian speakers, she gives us a harder time. When we stay inside our apartment and it's just us, she's usually fine. I thought she would be overwhelmed by all the things she sees and she does take everything in, but it seems like things don't over whelm her. She's never shed a tear about leaving the orphanage, but today (when she was acting like a three year old) she seemed to be trying to appear to be crying.

I've heard that this time is important for bonding, and I'm sure it is, but I can't help but think that once we're home, many, many miles from her orphanage, many of these behaviors will cease.

The Most Wanted Gift

2008-03-26T03:46:00.000-07:00

During our waiting time for the birth certificate, we deliberated on what to bring back as gifts for the children. We tried to find things that we could buy a large quantity of, but also fairly inexpensive. I bought necklaces for special girl friends and found some Christmas lip gloss marked way down. We bought a few regular size frisbees for older boys and little frisbees for the small boys plus cars which are always a hit. When we arrived here in region, Dad decided to find some Barbie style dolls for some of the girls we met.

We came back to visit the orphanage last Sunday and were taken into some type of visiting room with a dilapidated bed that I think someone uses. Maybe whoever is on duty during the night. We were accompanied by many children. We gave out toys to everyone who was there. We also had Russian New Testaments, that we intended for the older children or at least those who could read, but we only had about 18 of them. They were gone quickly. I turned around and noticed that there was a good sized group of young children standing by me wanting something. I gave a small frisbee to one, but he didn't want it. Neither did another child. I realized that all the children standing there had been given a toy. They didn't say anything, I guess because they knew I spoke English and they didn't understand it, but it suddenly dawned on me that they wanted a Bible. Out of all the toys we brought, a Bible was the most wanted gift!

Life is Interesting

2008-03-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

Since we have Karina with us, we have to take turns at the internet. When we both came with her the last time, she kept wanting my attention. Dad tried to keep her busy, but had to leave while I finished my internet time. She and Dad are at the supermarket while I am here. He had his turn while she and Barbie were bathing. She would take several a day, but I told her only one in the evening. We don't do that much.

I don't know if our 10 day wait will be 10 business days or 10 calendar days. Our facilitator has gone to Kiev. He always did go back to Kiev on the weekends. He didn't tell us how long he will be gone. We are going to ask him how the 10 days works and if there is a possibility we could go to Kiev to wait out the remainder of the time. Then we would be there to go to the Embassy.

Karina didn't come away with much from the orphanage. On Thursday, when we picked her up to take her to the passport office, she had a group of girls around her saying 'Goodbye'. She didn't realize that we had to come back to sign papers for her release. She was coming with us that day, but we still needed to give out the gifts we brought her friends and teachers. Apparently, adoptive parents don't give parties. Maybe because it disturbs their routine or maybe because there just isn't time with all the passport preparation and such.

When we picked her up, she was carrying a bag of clothes, a Barbie and a stuffed animal. We had given her another Barbie plus many hair clips, purses and other things, but apparently she gave all those away and had the Barbie we gave the other girl we were going to adopt. Only one pair of jeans out of those clothes were what we had given her.

She hasn't acted at all like she's missed anyone. No tears at all. On Friday, we did run into the other little girl that we came to adopt and Karina immediately started giving away the hair clips she had on. I guess she thinks we will buy her more.

Meals in our apartment have to be done just so. Karina likes to arrange all our food so that it is pretty. Tonight, she made us some instant potatoes and did all the plates of food by herself.

Day two with Karina

2008-03-21T06:08:00.000-07:00

This is Karina's second day out of the orphanage. We spent the morning at the passport office. They kept finding mistakes like one letter wrong in her name on her new Russian birth certificate. They also kept needing more copies of the documents and even one time, the orphanage director had to come to the passport office. We were finally called in to view which of the two photos we thought should be on her passport. She wanted the one with the serious look and of course, we wanted the one with the slight smile. I think we won out because the passport ladies wanted the smile one also.

We ate lunch at the pizza place for the second time. We decided we were going to do the ordering today because yesterday we let Karina order since she speaks Russian and can read the menu while it takes me a long time to figure out the sounds of the words. She ordered the most expensive pizza they have, which really isn't that expensive compared to what we're used to plus chips. She also wanted a chocolate candy bar and ice cream. We said no to the candy and ice cream.

She was also telling the taxi driver to come back tomorrow to take us somewhere we think it was back to the orphanage since we have gifts for her to give her friends. Dennis had to call back and tell him not to come. So much had to be done for the passport application and signing her out of the orphanage that she wasn't able to give them out yet.

Now, we have to wait 10 days for the passport to be done. We'll have to ask when we can leave for Kiev to go to the American Embassy and then we're headed home.

The Day

2008-03-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Today has been a long day and June and Karina are at the apartment. June must be tired to give me permission to do a blog entry. Karina spent her last night in an orphanage. Today she was a big part of the family and we spent most of the day trying to get the passport. No problems, but we have to go back tomorrow morning.
This evening we went shopping and I watched my wife of twenty six years and our new daughter pick out girl things for the shower and lots and lots of food. Karina requested one of almost everything in the store. In the store we were approached by a man with very broken English. He lives in America and Ukraine is his homeland.
He asked if it was an adoption, and when I said yes, He thanked me. It has been an interesting day.
Dennis

Wednesday, March 19 -- Arrived in Region

2008-03-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

We've been traveling since Sunday morning. Twenty five hours flying and 14 hours on the train. All that plus losing 7 hours has made me lose track of time a little.

This has been our first opportunity to get internet access.

We arrived in region this morning. After dropping off our luggage, we went to the orphanage. We saw a friend's little boy that is being picked up in a couple of weeks. They are at the same stage of the process as we are. We went into the director's office and our daughter was called in. She was shown her new birth certificate with her new name! We then took her for passport photos. After we dropped her off at the orphanage, we then went to sign the passport application at the notary's office. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we will pick her up and all go to the passport office. THEN, we get to keep her with us from now on!!!

Of course, she was ready to go right away, but the orphanage director wants us to sign some papers tomorrow after the passport application process is complete.

We are all so ready to be finished with this and now it is days away!

I wish we could post pictures, but we don't have the ability to do that until we get home.

Monday, March 17 -- Arrived in beautiful...grey, rainy Kiev!

2008-03-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Kiev has changed in the two months since we left. It is much warmer and rainy. But that doesn't matter one bit. We are here to pick up our daughter!! :)

Back to Ukraine, finally!!

2008-03-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Well, the day we have waited for is almost upon us. It only took two months:0

We received word that our facilitator has the new birth certificate and it is apostilled. We are leaving Sunday, March 16 to bring our daughter home to America!! Or as she says it 'damoy America' This means 'coming home to America' in Russian.

The Wind is Changing

2008-02-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

Remember, when Burt said that on the movie, 'Mary Poppins'? It signaled that something was about to happen. I probably know most of that movie by heart, because when our daughter was 3 years old, (now she's 24) she couldn't get enough of watching that movie. It drove my mother-in-law crazy!

Well, the wind is changing in our lives. God IS moving!

Stay Tuned:)

Miscellaneous

2008-02-22T15:44:00.000-08:00

We still have no news about when we can go back for our daughter. All we can do right now is pray that it will be soon.

Now that we are home and have access to DSL, I wanted to post some things that I would like to remember, but didn't have time to post while in Ukraine. They do keep you fairly busy there with all the adoption stuff. Just some miscellaneous things that hopefully will be helpful to someone along the way.

1. McDonald's is just as expensive in Kiev as here. To be fair, we did only visit the Independence Square one.

2. Computer keyboards are the same as here. They just add small Cyrillic letters onto the keys. I think that would make it harder for those who use the Cyrillic alphabet.

3. Downy Wrinkle Release was a lifesaver for us. We used it for our SDA and court clothes. Which did happen to be the same;)

4. The Kiev sites seen on blogs are even more beautiful in person!

5. In the Independence Square underground mall (go down the entrance close to McDonald's) we saw a phone store that sold a Kievstar phone for 69rph (greevna) which comes to around $14USD. SIM and minutes are extra. This was in December 2007/January 2008.

6. This applies to a Kievstar cell phone (but may also apply to all phones): to call the US, dial 815 then 1 plus area code and number, just like dialing long distance here.

7. Everyone brings their own bags for shopping. This includes the grocery store, bakery, etc. Except maybe the mall. We didn't buy anything but food there.

8. We used bungie cords for drying our hand-washed clothes. Very sturdy. We bought one of those Lewis and Clark clotheslines with the suction cups and clips. If you have somewhere to clip the line, it might work okay, but it is still not sturdy enough for very heavy clothes. The suction cups don't work on tile.

9. We were not given washrags in the apartments we stayed in, just hand towels and bath towels. Most were thin, so if you like fluffy, thick towels and washrags, bring your own. Though they won't be so fluffy after hand washing and air drying.

10. For some reason, we were stared at a lot. My husband said it was my cream colored scarf. (see video)

Waiting and Waiting

2008-02-18T20:04:00.001-08:00

We wait and then we wait some more. All we can do is study Russian and harass our facilitator by email and by phone. We made phone contact today. I like the guy, but I think we should contact him on a regular basis. We have been able to talk to Karina via S&T who are visiting there now. It is good to hear my daughter's voice and know she is safe but we are anxious to bring her home.
Faith and Trust.
DRB

Holding Pattern

2008-02-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

We arrived back home three weeks ago. We all took turns being sick, but I think we are all well now.

Our facilitator told us that he was going to Moscow last Monday to get our daughter's birth certificate. He is supposed to contact us when he gets back to Ukraine. We haven't heard anything yet, so we are assuming he is still waiting on the birth certificate. Apparently, this is a very unusual thing for an adopted child in Ukraine to have a birth certificate from another country. It seems to be complicated even though Ukraine used to be part of Russia. Ukraine was it's own country when our daughter was born, though. We have been told that Moscow is a difficult region, so they were not sure how long this would take or how many 'officials' the birth certificate would have to go through. We are hoping that the original birth certificate with her new adopted name can be issued quickly, like in a day or two or three and taken to the town where she is. But then again, are things really that simple in Ukraine? The judge has already agreed to change her birthplace, but he wanted an original Moscow birth certificate since that is the way they do things in Moscow. In Ukraine, they just change the birth certificate and it usually takes only a day.

We're not sure about all of the specifics, but our facilitators told us that since our daughter has been in the custody of Ukraine, that she is a citizen of Ukraine, even though she was born in Moscow. There is supposed to be an understanding between Russia and Ukraine, that Russia will honor the legal documents of Ukraine that have declared us to be her parents.

We don't quite understand how she is a citizen of Ukraine when she was born in Moscow. It could be that she is a citizen of Ukraine because her mother is/was actually a citizen of Ukraine. I guess it's not like the US. From what I understand, all you have to do is to be born in the US to be a citizen. I thought it was that way everywhere. Then again, I remember reading about Ukraine citizens going to another country to work, having a child and abandoning it. The child ends up in the orphanage of that country, but is still a Ukrainian citizen. This child was stuck in this system unable to be adopted in this country or returned to Ukraine.

Anyhow, we are praying to hear that all this is cleared up soon and would appreciate others praying with us. This is really a very difficult situation to be in. We have a daughter that is stuck in another country and have no idea when we can go get her. She is very anxious to come home to us and we are just as anxious to have her here.

Video of Pictures

2008-01-29T14:58:00.000-08:00

Hubby and our youngest son created a video with pictures from our trip that you can see to the right.

It's still Christmas in Kiev!

2008-01-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

Since we have some time before we leave, we thought we would go walking and exploring yesterday and today. We've found a lot of places that I've read about and seen pictures of on other adoption blogs and in our Ukraine travel guide by Bradt. We found a huge park with a soccer stadium at one end and lots of statues. There are a couple of overlooks viewing the frozen Dneper (Dnipro?) River. The river has waves in the ice like it froze while flowing. We saw a couple of areas where crowds were gathered with people in Santa Claus suits and big stuffed animal suits similar to characters at Disney World. There were also blue-coated Santa type figures that I think may be Father Frost, but don't quote me. I'm not an expert on Ukrainian traditions.

Last night, we decided to explore another street that we hadn't been down before. The Santa celebrations were still going on. There is a gigantic lighted Christmas tree in Independence Square. More elaborate than we have ever seen. It has about three different patterns of lights including colored diamond shapes. There are all types of lights lining the streets and all the way down the one we planned to explore. All the lighting is beautiful! We didn't expect anything like that and got out of the apartment without our camera. We plan on capturing some of the sights in a little while since it gets dark here at 4pm.

Today, we found a long, skinny underground mall under Kreschatyk street. I hope I spelled that right. There is every kind of specialty shop imaginable. Now, finding a grocery store with all the things you need like TP, toothpaste, water and food is a different challenge.

We've eaten at 3 different restaurants since FRiday. We ate at O'Brien's, an Irish style pub where the waitresses speak English, which is across the street and down to the right a little from our apartment building. Yesterday, we ate at Budmos, which specializes in Ukrainian food. Ask for their English menu. It was good, but small portions compared to the restaurants we're used to. Also, we thought O'Brien's was expensive, but both restaurants were comparable in price. Budmos' is near O'Brien's, on the street that crosses our apartment street. Budmo's is in the middle of two other restaurants that we think serve Ukrainian food also. Today, we ate at Double Coffee. I got the Greek Salad which has been good at other places, but Double Coffee doesn't seem to put the dressing on it. Hubby got a cheeseburger. He found out it is literally a 'cheese' burger. It was a bun with a round breaded cheese-stick inside.

I'm running out of time on this computer, but after I get settled at home, (will be there Wednesday) I'm going to detail more of our food experiences.

Final Court

2008-01-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

One Note: Annonymous(es), please sign at least your first name so I'll know who you are:)

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to post in a couple of days. The past few days have gone by very quickly. When you wait here in Ukraine, you wait! When things start happening, watch out:)

We showed up for our 2nd and final court appearance on Thursday, January 10 at 10am. The director had just arrived with K. We all walked into the courthouse together. Shortly after, the Social Worker arrived. We waited in the hall until we were told we could go into the courtroom. At one end is the bench where the judge sits with a juror on either side of him. There were two ladies in their beautiful fur coats in those seats. They walked in after we were already seated on the wooden pew-type benches. We stood as they filed in. There was another lady sitting on the side to the left of us. We're not really sure who she was, but she asked a lot of questions.

We were asked if we believe in this court, and we said yes. That's what our facilitator said which I'm sure meant that we recognized the power of that court. We were told that we could ask for another judge and jury. We didn't have the same judge as the first day because he was ill. The first judge was a white haired in his late fifties early sixties and very nice. This judge was younger, maybe in his thirties. We really didn't get to meet him. There was a lot of reading of Ukrainian legal papers before during and after. We were asked to stand up and state our names, where we were born, where we live now and jobs. I was so nervous, I let my husband do most of the speaking when possible. K was able to sit between us. She was nervous also when asked to speak. She had to tell about how she came to the orphanage. The Social worker and orphanage worker were asked to speak also. The lady on our left asked questions about how we would provide for K, health insurance and something about education insurance. I'm not sure what that meant. We were asked how we would communicate with K. I've learned some Russian, not near enough to understand anyone here, but a few words here and there to help, so I told them that and that we had taken a Russian language class and had Russian language CDs. Before that the lady asked how we knew K. She also asked why we weren't adopting the child who stayed in our home during the camp K came to America for. The fact that we hosted a child wasn't mentioned so either they assumed we hosted a child or they read our dossier. We were asked to each make a closing statement. Dennis did very well. I started by saying that we had always wanted more children and I was unable to have any more, so we considered adoption. Then, I couldn't help it. I couldn't hold the emotion back anymore. K was upset that I was crying some. She was telling me no, and wiping my eyes. She acts like that is a bad thing. I tell her they are happy tears, but she still doesn't seem to understand.

The court recessed for 5-10 minutes. It seemed like an eternity. They came back and we all stood up. The judge started reading the paper in front of him, in Ukrainian of course. I kept hearing him say, K's new name and looking at K to see her reaction. She had no reaction. Our facilitator was in front of me. I didn't see any reactions from anyone else. After the judge was through, our facilitator turned around and congratulated us telling us we were parents. The two lady jurors walked by and each talked to K with tears in their eyes. I couldn't see the one straight in front of me, but my husband said she was tearing up the whole time. We were very blessed to have two compassionate ladies as jurors.

We still have the 10 day wait with an unknown wait for the birth certificate from Moscow. We spent a few hours with K and rode the train to Kiev on Thursday night. We are in Kiev until Tuesday. We were able to use the remainder of our roundtrip tickets on Aerosvit. Now we just need to book a flight home from JFK. It will be nice to be home for a while, but we will miss K terribly. Hopefully, it won't be too long before we are flying back over here.

Court Today

2008-01-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

Our preliminary court appearance must have gone well because we have a court date for Thursday at 10am. The judge asked us if we knew K, when we met her, why we wanted to adopt her, if the other members of our family are in agreement to bring her into our home and if we were both in agreement. Then he asked the orphanage director questions. We're not sure exactly what they were except for asking about her family. We'll have to get all the answers later.

Since our court date is Thursday, we were hoping to head home that night but the airline we have our round-trip tickets with doesn't have any room availabe until the 17th. Our original departure date is the 24th. I was surprised that the flights are so booked out of here in January. I guess they want to get away from the freezing temperatures as much as we do! I tried to find other flights, but they are very expensive, so I'm not sure what we will do.

Countdown to Court

2008-01-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

Well, we are finally down to just a few days before our first of two court appearances. Our court date is still on Tuesday, the 8th. Our facilitator has been out of town celebrating the Holidays in Kiev for the past two weeks and will arrive here the morning of our court date. Talk about cutting it close!

In the meantime, we have been visiting our little girl everyday at the orphanage. She likes to ask us, 'Mama, Papa, K, symeya?'(family) We tell her yes, she is our dochka (daughter) She seems to need assurance. We've told her what day we are going to court. I made a calendar one day and showed her how many days from that one to when we go to court. Then told her that Mama and Papa will go the first day, then she and the orphanage director will come whenever the judge says. Of course, I am not fluent in Russian (which is what she speaks) but with a Russian dictionary, the few words I know and an electronic translator a friend let us borrow, we get the point across. I think she's learning some English along the way too. There is an English teacher at their school, but if you don't have someone fluent in the language you are learning, it's hard to retain. Like us learning Russian.

Today, we were granted a very high honor. When we took her back to the building where her room is, she went and brought out her treasure box. She was showing me the contents of it. She shows me things all the time, like drawings she's done and such. Then, she told me to take it home to America. We plan on going home during the ten day court wait and she knows that. I don't know exactly why she wants us to take it now instead of waiting until we come to pick her up for good from the orphanage, but we will. Maybe it will give her comfort to know that something of hers is already in her new home before she gets there.

Lots of Holidays and Court

2007-12-27T01:46:00.000-08:00

Ukrainians love celebrating around this time of year. As a result of this, we will have to wait until January 8 for our first court appearance. In our region, you have to appear twice before the judge. The first time, we the parents, appear before the judge to ask for the soonest day to have the next court appearance and I think we will answer questions from the judge. At the second court day, our little girl along with the director and social worker will be there as well.

Our papers were all ready last Friday, which was around a week after arriving in the region. K had to go to the doctor on two different days for all the medical exams needed. Our facilitator had to gather all documents from the orphanage director, social worker, doctor and who knows where else to take these to court and somewhere along the way to the SDA. Sometimes communication isn't so clear. We think he means one thing, then it turns out opposite. Usually we get it straightened out in the end. I find myself listening to what he says, trying to evaluate what he means, then asking again to make sure we understand. That's one piece of advice I have to anyone coming, make sure you are very clear on what your facilitator is telling you. Even if you have to ask several times.

After court, and I think after the 10 day wait period, then the birth certificate can be applied for from Moscow. The way we understand it is, we have to have officially adopted her here and since she is a 'ward of the state', there is an understanding between Ukraine and Russia that they will honor that and give her original birth certificate. The judge here had no problem changing the place of birth on the birth certificate, but they need the original or maybe permission(?) to do it. At least that's what we understand. Anything is prone to change!

So, back to the celebrating. Our facilitator is gone for two weeks to celebrate the holidays. He is supposed to be back the weekend before court. We're okay. We are set-up to eat two meals at the restaurant that is part of the same building as our apartment. We have the number of a taxi driver who knows where to pick us up and where to take us. Even though it costs $12 a day over and above what we've paid our facilitator/driver. That may not sound like a lot for a few times, but when you add up 2 weeks worth, that is close to $150 or more. US dollars.

At least we do get to see K everyday. Tomorrow morning she plays a lead role in a New Year's program. Can't wait to see it!

Christmas Day at the Orphanage

2007-12-26T02:57:00.000-08:00

Well, it was Christmas Day to us anyway, even though it isn't here. When we mentioned when Christmas was to us, our (soon-to-be) little girl got excited and said she was going to make us a gift. She did. She took some old Christmas cards and on the inside copied a verse that she probably read from somewhere, in English. She took another part of a card and drew us a beautiful picture and decorated it with yarn. I've noticed they recycle alot here. I probably noticed because I've always tried to do that with my kids. I decided that we needed to give her a Christmas gift also, so I took one of the gift bags I brought and gave her some of the clothes I brought for her. In this bag was some fuzzy pink house shoes I bought for her at Wal-mart. They may have cost all of $5. We also brought some little chocolate covered cakes we bought at the little market next to us. Some things cost the same here as at home and other things are very cheap. There are markets everywhere here. There is a supermarket,as well as lots of little shops, then there is an outdoor market that offers just about everything from household goods to clothes to food. There is one lady we buy crackers and cookies from, so we thought we'd try some of her little cakes. We brought several to share. Our little girl loves to share. In fact I think she gives almost everything I give her away because I see the hair clips I've given her in other girls' hair. She asked if she should share the clothes I gave her with T. I told her they were for her only. She was showing off her clothes to her friends. All of them wanted to feel the pink fuzzy house shoes. It made me want to cry when I saw the girls ooohing and aaahing over such a simple little thing that we take for granted. I've been feeling a little sad and lonely being over here so far away from my home and children. But this put things into perspective just a little bit for me. It made me realize once again how little these children have, even though they have somewhere to live, clothes and food, they have no mother to buy them little pink fuzzy house shoes. Every girl deserves to own a pair of pink fuzzy house shoes at least once in her lifetime.

Things to know when arriving in Ukraine

2007-12-23T02:38:00.000-08:00

There are some things we've learned along that way that weren't specifically told to us by our agency that are very important to know for those of you waiting to travel.

The first thing is, when your plane is close to landing, the flight attendants will go around passing out a piece of paper. I was expecting this because of reading another blog, but even when I took the paper, it was still confusing. The Cyrillic lettering stands out the most, but if you take the time and look closely, there is English written underneath in smaller lettering. The form is an Immigration form, but spells the word, 'Immigracion' I'm assuming this is just a mis-spelling. I was confused since immigration to me means that you are wanting to actually immigrate to this country. That's not what it means. It is a form for anyone who is not a Ukrainian. The form has two identical sides except one say 'Arrival' and the other says 'Departure'. Fill out both sides, even though it asks for the same exact information. Some of the wording is not exactly how we are used to seeing forms worded. When you arrive at the airport, you will have to show your passport and this form to someone at 'Passport Control." They will tear the form in half and keep the 'Departure' side. You are to keep the arrival side in your passport at ALL TIMES. Plus, keep your passport on you at all times just in case you may be asked for it. This is a very, very important thing to remember. OUr facilitator did tell us this, after he took us to our apartment. We haven't been asked for our passport and we walk everywhere except the orphanage. For those who may worry about it.

We did fill out the Customs Declaration form also, each one of us separately, even though I had less than $3000 worth of valuables and cash. The officer said I didn't even have to fill mine out. He was very nice. No searches, like I've heard other people tell of. The form only asks for cash and valuables. There are also some very specific questions. It doesn't even ask about prescriptions, like I had heard. I don't have the form with me or I would quote it. We did put most of our things on one form since we had taken a cart and put our luggage on it. The Borispol airport doesn't charge for carts like JFK. Also, when you see the Customs forms, there is one table with forms in Ukrainian and one table in English. They are right next to each other.

When I have more time I'll have to tell you about our JFK experience! All this extra security can make a normal law-abiding citizen feel like a criminal!!

Final Decision

2007-12-20T01:07:00.000-08:00

We have visited with our two girls everyday since arriving last Friday. This morning, we met with the Director, Asst. Director, a teacher, the translator and T, one of our little girls. When we first arrived with the SW, she said she wanted two days to think about going with us. The director told us last Monday, that she told her no. We met with T and the translator to tell her the consequences of her decision. She says she knows she will be put out on the street as early as age 15, which is only in three years. K, our other girl has talked to her and told her the same things. By the way, this is the same little girl that supposedly had no file and a little sister.

The Director wanted to give her one more chance. By the end of this morning's meeting, they were all shaking their heads as to why she would choose not to come with us. Everyone thinks it would be best for her including the SW, but she has family here that visits often. The SW says that she can't live with her family. The aunt T always mentions has alcohol problems. She's twelve and by Ukrainian law can make her own decision.

K on the other hand has been ready to go with us from day one. She wants a family. She wants to come to America. All her documents will be ready in the morning. We're assuming for the SDA. The only problem is that she was born in Russia. They are seeing what can be done, but this may delay her coming home with us even after court is done. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

In Region

2007-12-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

We arrived in the region where our girls reside on Friday morning after a 14 hour all-night train ride. We didn't sleep a whole lot. Once the train arrived at our destination our facilitator took us to meet the Social worker. Everything with this adoption seems one way at first and then all of a sudden, things change. We had to appeal our homestudy, then we went into our appointment not knowing what would happen only to find out both girls files were waiting on us. Now, when we reach the region, the SW tells us the one that supposedly didn't have a file before our appointment, has a little sister. The SDA made no mention of a sister. They told us she was the youngest and had older siblings. The SW did some calling and told us that the little sister was unadoptable. She was too ill. They didn't know how to communicate to us just exactly what was wrong. Apparently, the younger sister can't hold herself up and won't be able to do anything for herself at all. We didn't really have a chance to decide on whether to adopt her or not. They didn't give us a choice. This was extremely upsetting to hear that there is a sister that neither she nor us will ever know her.

We were able to visit with the girls right after meeting in the SW worker's office. The two SW we met are young, in their twenties and know all the children and care deeply for them. The SW that went to the orphanage with us took coloring books to give to one little boy. She knew each child that came up to her by name.

We had a very good first visit on Friday. One is a little hesitant and asked for two days to think about it, but I'm sure she'll come around. I think she was just overwhelmed with all the people in the room. She has already asked what her room looked like.

We met with the girls today also. We played about 8 games of Go Fish and even more of Battle. It will be a challenge to keep them occupied in this frozen winter weather when we can't go outside.

We're learning to shop at the local Supermarket. It's a lot easier to take your time reading the Russian labels than when you are pressed for time in a restaurant. Learning the Russian alphabet sounds are a must or at least having some kind of chart handy. We've been able to find things in the store that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to. Not all packing has pictures or see-through plastic. The few Russian words we've been able to learn have come in handy too. It's hard to pick some out when they are mixed in with lots of rapid Russian, but knowing how to say a few vital words has helped us get our point across, especially when our facilitator left us here over the weekend and the taxi driver whom he gave us the number for, doesn't speak any English.

SDA Apointment

2007-12-12T04:38:00.000-08:00

Right now, it's 2:40pm in Kiev 0n Wednesday, December 12. Our SDA appointment was at 12 o'clock. We hardly slept last night from being nervous about this. We were all dressed and waiting for our facilitator to call. We hadn't heard anything from him since the day we arrived. We decided that if he didn't call by 11:30, we were going to call him. Well, he beat us to it, so we didn't have to call him. He told us he was stuck in traffic. So, now we're worrying about being late for our appointment. He finally shows up to drive us to our appointment. He goes in first to tell them we are here. Then, we are told to go in. We walk through the door and stand in a small space at the bottom of some stairs with another couple. I don't know where they're from, but they speak Spanish because their interpreter asked them. They go up the stairs, then a few minutes later our interpreter comes down for us. Our facilitator isn't allowed in with us, but he asked anyway. We were asked to sit down and introduce ourselves to the SDA representative. It has seemed like such a long journey to get this far. It takes a few minutes to absorb what she is telling us, because it needs to be interpreted and also because we are anxious to know what they will tell us. Our facilitator has already told us some things that have added to our emotional state right before we go in. We do understand two words that the SDA representative says. The names of our girls. She has two pieces of paper in her hand. We can only see the back side. She lays the papers down and we immediately recognize both pictures. She tell us the pictures were taken in February of 2006.
Then she finishes the meeting, which may have lasted all of ten minutes, by telling us that BOTH of our girls are available and they will give us our referrals so we can travel to the region tomorrow evening!!!

We know that many, many prayers have been offered up for us and these two girls. We prayed for a miracle and it was given to us!

To GOD be the glory, great things he hath done!!

Hello from Kiev!

2007-12-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

We're here. We arrived safe and sound yesterday (Monday) afternoon. We were in transit for over 20 hours, so it took us a while yesterday and this morning to recover. When Aerosvit landed, everyone clapped. I was relieved to be back on the ground!

I am posting from an internet cafe in Independence Square. Our appointment is tomorrow, Wednesday, at 12 noon Kiev time; 2am Central time.

Will post more details later.

Last Post this side of the Atlantic

2007-12-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well, until we return that is.

The day of our departure is finally within 24 hours away. We are leaving around 8am in the morning for the airport. Then we will be in-transit from 10:30am Sunday until around 3:30am Monday (Central time). It's been very difficult for me to figure out all these time differences, but I think I have it now.

The next post will be from Kiev. That is if we find an internet cafe.

Our SDA appointment is on Wednesday, the 12th. Please pray that both girls' files will be there for us.