Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Day 3 at Home

It is absolutely weird how much Tamara and June are alike. They look alike and that is only the beginning. I don't want to get in trouble, so I will stop there. I took the girls to the community pool yesterday. That is the most fun thing in the world and a must for a new sister. I tried to enjoy the moment and have been trying to become an American again. You try to focus on the here and now, but find your thoughts wandering to where you were and who you left behind. Our friend Rhonda is still in S-town and has had a hard time with her adoption.
I learned today that the fifteen year old girl I befriended has had a disturbing past. When I offered my phone that day to call her mother, I wondered why she didn't want to. When my dear friend was younger, her mother prostituted her to boyfriends. One thing that made me feel better about TA was that she had a mother. I left thinking TA and her brother would age out of the system and live with mama. I don't think that she and her younger brother have much of a chance for adoption. The other girls consider her mean and have nothing to do with her. That is the reason she became my friend. The last day we visited the orphanage, I gave her self addressed, stamped envelopes, so she could write us. I hope she knows there is someone who cares.
Papa Dennis

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Doma

It was a traumatic experience flying home from Ukraine. Delta and JFK airport in New York tried to kill us. Today I woke to find that little has changed. It will take a while to recover from seven weeks in Ukraine. We have the experience of living in a foreign country and becoming comfortable with the way of life there. I did enjoy living in that smaller town where almost everyone is your equal. Most people do not own a car and are comfortable riding the very reliable bus system. That is what we did most of the time. We joined the foot traffic on the sidewalks or jumped on one of the buses. In the summer there are outdoor bars everywhere. That is the thing you notice first. So many people are carrying beer everywhere you go, even if it is nine in the morning. I did see some abuse, but we did live behind one of the local outdoor bars.

I met a Brother I did not know I had. He worked security where we stayed. Our apartment was part of a larger store, loading dock, disco, restaurant, and beer tent/bar. He invited us to tea at his house and we went to church with him and his family. I will miss my friend, Vacili.

Today is quiet here. Someone wants to ride bicycles, but I have to recover from the trip. I can tell she is trying. I waited until we were completely through customs in New York before I told her firmly that she doesn't tell me, "I don't want to." That was her favorite thing to say to me. I wasn't mean and she understood, but I did get the LOOK that teenage girls are good at. I think she is beginning to understand that we do care about her. It seems the less I try, the closer she lets herself get to her new dad.

Papa Dennis

Home

Home is such a wonderful word. It carries much more meaning than just those four letters. I have never been so glad to be home! Ukraine is an experience that we will never forget, but NO place is better than home:)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

In Kiev (Again:)

The last few days have been so busy, I can't even recall everything we did right now. We did get the next day passport, barely. We did get the train tickets, barely. We did make it to the Embassy today, barely. We did get Tamara to the medical center, barely. We do get the visa tomorrow (Friday) at two o'clock and fly out Saturday morning! YYAAAYYY!! We are so ready to be home. Then again, it was so hard leaving the kids behind.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Saturday -- 3; Sunday -- 2

Okay, I know. It's getting boring now. All we can do is visit the orphanage and wait. Tomorrow will be our last visit to the orphanage except for Tuesday when we get our daughter out for good!

I liked the cabbage rolls so much at the little cafe that I tried some from the grocery store deli. They weren't as good since they were filled with rice instead of meat. Now I know to ask for the ones filled with ground meat.

Can't wait to have our busy days starting on Tuesday!:)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday -- 4

The countdown is still on. Yes, S, I know you're counting with me;)

Got passport pictures today. I finally was able to try to cabbage rolls at a little cafe today.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thursday -- 5

We're more than halfway through with the waiting period!! YAY!!

I guess today was a boring day. Went to the orphanage by bus. No detours;) Ate lunch, went home. Now, I'm at the internet. When I'm through we'll have to talk about what to have for supper.

I'm finding that my two years of typing I took in high school are paying off quite a bit here, especially today. The letters on the keyboard I'm using are totally gone:0

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tuesday -- 7; Wednesday -- 6

It is so hard to believe that the days are passing so quickly now!

We had a scenic bus tour of our town today. In other words, we got on the wrong bus:o Dennis and I were just sitting there knowing we would end up in the downtown area or 'the kamens' (commons) as they call it here, but Karina was actually panicked. Yesterday, we took 101a home instead of 101. It took a small jag off the usual straight track home, so Dennis thought it would be okay to ride into town. Normally, 101 takes us straight down the road, turns the corner in the commons area, then we get off to wait for the second bus or marshrutka. When Dennis saw 101a, he thought it would take that same little jag and cut back over. Well, it didn't. It went down another parallel street, past the big downtown market, then it kept going. We've figured out that the bus that goes on the orphanage street, just makes a big circle and comes by our usual stop every hour. We thought this bus would do the the same. It does, but takes a much, much larger circle. We got to see the very opposite edge of town from where we are staying. When all the passengers had gotten off, we were the last three on. The bus driver opened the door, looked back at us like, 'aren't you getting off?' The guy taking the money asked something in Russian. He asked Karina where we got on at. That really didn't matter, it was where we needed to go that was more important. Come to find out, they stopped at this stop for about 10 minutes, then they were going back to town. Karina was very panicked when they were talking to her. She tends to add things that we don't tell her or guess what needs to be told to them on her own without asking us. She has also left out things people tell us. She really is very good at going back and forth between English and Russian especially considering she has only been home with us a year, but she is still a child and doesn't think at all like an adult. The guys ended up being okay with us staying on, but we had to pay again. We were happy to pay. Twenty six cents apiece for a tour of the town isn't bad at all!;)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday -- Day 8

The countdown is still on!

The kids left for 'moray', the ocean or Black Sea today. I believe they are going to be gone for a month. It was a happy occasion, but sad for us and some of our little friends who knew we wouldn't see them and they wouldn't see us again. We had a couple of our little friends follow us to the bus stop. Hugs were given all around when the marshrutka came. It will be very quiet at the orphanage when we visit tomorrow. There will only be our daughter, another girl who has court with her new adoptive parents on Wednesday and a handful of the 8 class. We've been told there wasn't enough money for tickets for the older class, so they will go on a trip after the other children get back. Of course, this may not be exactly the whole truth. Sometimes we only get portions of it at a time.

We've become pretty proficient at riding the bus around here. We've been riding either the bus or marshrutka, whichever comes first and has room, home from the orphanage for a few weeks now. Not every day at first, but just about every day last week. We have learned that the bus comes at 1pm, which is the perfect time for us and it is usually almost empty. All the marshrutkas tend to be full. The bus is cheaper by 25kopecs, but people seem to prefer the marshrutkas. I don't know why. They don't hold as many people. I've seen a marshrutka filled to the brim with people standing up.

Today was the first day we rode the bus to the orphanage. It went smoothly. We have been watching the route numbers and have the routes we need figured out. We take one route number to and from the orphanage and another number down from a certain stop down to our apartment. We have to cross the street to take the second bus. The only problem we have is that the route to our apartment is extremely busy. All the buses and marshrutkas are very full. We usually watch 5 or 6 route 101 vehicles pass by before we find one that has some seats. We were very blessed all the way around to find seats in all four of the vehicles we took. Sometimes we have to stand on the bus to the apartment.

I want to put something else in before I forget. Outside cafes are very popular here in the summer. We didn't see any in the winter and they seem to put them any place they can fit. One area looked a little more permanent, but there are no tables in the winter. One good thing is that the disco areas are outside under the tent. No more vibrating walls in our apartment:0 You can still hear the music until about 11pm, but apparently we've gotten used to it. The more permanent area I mentioned earlier, serves food. A limited menu, but we can get 'boot-ir-brahts', salads, drink, etc. We eat lunch there frequently. They serve you a glass with your bottled drink. We were sitting there one day, when Karina told us her glass broke. Come to find out, she had the side in her mouth and bit on it! It's a wonder she didn't cut her mouth all up. We had to pay eight greevna for the glass. I told her she wouldn't get her daily ice cream because the money went for the glass she broke. She is having just a little regression behavior wise because of being around all the kids at the orphanage. We are hoping she will get better now that only a few children will be there.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Countdown has Officially Started!

Saturday - 10; Sunday - 9

It doesn't seem possible that we are finally to the last days before going home. Court was exactly one month after our SDA appointment. It didn't seem like our court appearance lasted as long as the first one. They didn't ask us near as many questions as when we adopted Karina, but they asked Tamara a lot of questions. Probably because she told us 'no' the first time. She did very well, though. She calmly answered the questions and it was obvious that she definitely wanted to come with us this time. Of course that made us feel good. The prosecutor said that she was satisfied that our decision to adopt Tamara was well thought out because we came back to adopt her. It probably helped that we met her two years ago and still kept in contact. I'm really glad she didn't ask us a lot of questions. She seemed very stern the first time, but was much more relaxed this time. The thought crossed my mind that we might be turned down to adopt Karina because of all the questions. I'm sure it helped Tamara make her decision when she visited us at Christmas and saw that she would keep in touch with several of her friends that have been adopted. We keep in touch regularly with two of their friends. We go to their birthday parties and vice versa. The others, we see as much as possible, but they live so far away and we all have such busy lives. I've heard that all Tamara's friends are all excited that she is coming to America. We'll have to have a big reunion with them again!

As for us, it looks like we will visit the orphanage every day until Tuesday, July 21. Yes, I have already counted the days. It works out perfectly because one of the offices we need to go to is closed on Mondays. So, first thing Tuesday morning, the judge has already informed her assistant that she is to have our court decree ready for us. We will then go to the birth certificate office here in the same town, then after that, we will go the the passport office, still in the same town. We have learned that they have some of the old passport forms here in this region, so we have decided to pay the fee to have the one day passport. Tamara has a passport already and the director says she has it. We had trouble with Karina's passport because the director lost her passport. The director had to go to the police office and file a stolen passport report. I think that took a couple of days. Then, later we learned that they lost either all or some of Karina's paperwork. We don't want to wait a month like we did for Karina's passport. We are ready to go home. Please pray that all goes smoothly and quickly and we are flying out of Kiev at the end of that week.

PS - For those who know her, we met K's mom today at the bus stop. We rode on the same marshrutka. We were very pleased to meet her and glad that she is trying everything she can to get all her rights re-established. We feel that K will have somewhere to live once she ages out. K's brother rode the marshrutka with his mom. He looked good. He had on much better clothes than any of the orphans wear.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Court a Success!

We had our court appearance today. The judge did us a favor and had the two appearances in one day. We now have a new member of our family, Tamara Gabriella:) She picked out her middle name after an actress in High School Musical. That was okay with us. Made it easier. I wish I could post pictures, but that will have to wait until we get home.

Our actual court time was about 45 minutes or so. Then we stayed afterwards while the judge served champagne, chocolates, candy and cookies. (Yes, we had the same judge Nat, though her hair is shorter.)

Tamara was unwavering in saying that she wanted us to adopt her. We tried to adopt her a year and a half ago when we adopted Karina, but she believed her aunt when she was told the aunt would adopt her. Since she turns 14 this year, and learned that we still wanted to adopt her, she decided to come with us. She had her mind made up when she visited our house last Christmas.

We did find something else out. Her mother died. We are assuming the mom died after we were here last. Tamara told Karina last Christmas that her Grandmother had died, but we knew nothing about the mother. So, she is truly an orphan, though she was put in the orphanage as a social orphan. No knowledge of the dad.

I guess we didn't want to relax until court was over because we had been rejected once. Now it is official, to an extent. The aunt still lives in this town, so there is a possibility that she might try to do something, though she has no rights. Please pray that doesn't happen.

PS - Even though most of the children are leaving for camp on Monday, Tamara and another girl, who is being adopted next week, are staying with a caregiver until they can officially leave with their new parents.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Two Days until Court

It's getting closer!:) Court is now the day after tomorrow! Tomorrow, I will take an outfit along with shoes to T. She was so excited when I told her that as we were leaving today.

Today, we brought all the hair things we brought for the girls. We also bought sheets of stickers to give out that were only a greevna a piece (about 15cents or less) Of course, we didn't have enough. I tried to get the point across that the boys got the stickers and the girls got hair things, but it was useless. We only found a few sheets of car stickers and that's what all the boys wanted. When we got back this afternoon, Dennis and Karina went looking for more stickers.

We saw the kids going to the school building with their bags getting clothes for camp. I think some must have gotten the clothes we brought because I found a sticker from a shirt on the ground. We were told yesterday that all the children got a new pair of shoes for camp, but they were saving them and wearing their old, torn shoes right now. They all were thanking T and us for bringing them. They've told us that they will be leaving on Monday for camp at the Black Sea. The Assistant Director said we should join them. We'd rather go home. All four of us.

Monday, July 6, 2009

4 days until Court!

We're down to court being four days away! It was a long drawn out time getting here. What I'm going to say may be the bad side of orphanage life that many don't see. Maybe we saw it more because we've been here before and we already knew the kids somewhat plus we have someone with us who has lived with these same children and understands Russian and English. We hosted T twice. Last Christmas and two years ago just after Christmas. When T returned after the last visit, she was invited to 'room' with the girls in the 8 class. T was only in the 6 class. It was because she had things that the other girls didn't have from America. We could see when we first came that there were a lot of 'games' being played. Things were said about me. Lots of things were said about Karina and other girls in the orphanage. I could tell, even though I didn't understand what they were saying that the big girls were sticking their noses in our business. It finally built up to making Karina cry one day. Just after that, we learned that one teacher had come back from her vacation and made T move out of the big girls' room. It made such a difference. We were already under a lot of stress with having to stay here so long and other things that had happened at home. We needed God to intervene and he did!

We finally found a skirt for T to wear to court. It is so very hard to find clothes for girls over ten and under adult age. The skirt we bought was probably an adult skirt, but with how short they wear them and how skinny the ones are that wear the short skirts, it should fit her fine. She's very hard to fit in jeans because she's just a little chunky, but very short for a 13 year old. She'll love this skirt. It has a big fancy belt buckle on it. We also bought some pink sandals for her. Pink is her favorite color. I had shirts and shorts that I brought her, so we were covered there.

The rest of the kids are leaving for camp on Sunday or Monday. They will be going to the Black Sea, but I don't know where. A few teachers are staying at the orphanage with the children who have parents until those parents can pick them up. I guess the shorter camp was cheaper or they found a sponsor. We are hoping that T can just go ahead and stay with us during the 10 day. We'll just have to wait and see.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

4th of July

Well, today is the 4th of July, but you sure can't tell it in Ukraine. I'm sure we won't see any fireworks tonight. They don't even have watermelons here! I love watermelon, but I never thought I would miss it or the fireworks so much. It's amazing how you can take those little things for granted until you don't have them.

Friday, July 3, 2009

One Week Until Court!

Our court date is one week from today. We thought it would never come, but now it is almost upon us.

We don't do very exciting things. We visit the orphanage every day in the morning. We have gone shopping at the large market a few times looking for shoes and used clothing for the kids. Shoes are fairly cheap, but also not great quality. Someone gave us some money to buy things for the kids, so we are trying to spend it up. We can buy a lot with it. We also brought a good bit of donations with us as well. Now that we've donated all the shoes and clothing that I had collected, we're down to all our belongings fitting into one large suitcase. We brought three large suitcases, two duffels and Karina had a backpack. We were so glad to get rid of our load. We've bought over 60 pairs of shoes and I don't know how many shorts, skirts and shirts for around $300.

The kids really need the shoes and clothes. Most of the boys' shoes barely cover their feet. some of the boys have no shoe under their toes. The little boys wear thick underwear as shorts. Some have holes in their shirts.

One thing they do have to look forward to is three above ground pools of various sizes. The kids have the pools for something to do since there wasn't enough money to send them to camp this summer. About 10-12 kids get in the big pool for maybe five minutes at a time. They can't do much with that many children in the pool. But they have fun anyway. Many times when it's not swimming time, an adult caregiver will have to come and fuss at a couple of kids that have gotten in the pool without permission. Can you tell I sit on a bench for about 3 hours and watch what goes on?;) After a while, you just have to learn to relax here and just enjoy your stay.

Well, that's pretty much how we spend our time at the orphanage. The other part of the day, we find places to walk. Today, we rode the marshrutka from the orphanage into town. We ate at our little pelemini cafe again. This time, we had just pelmini instead of fancy pelmini soup with mushrooms, dill and sour cream. It was good and cheap! The three of us ate for 31 greevna, with drinks. That's a little over $4 total.